Create Some Joy

Not Going Into Hiding

2008-08-30T19:48:00.000-07:00

Evacuating to outrun the Hurricanes. O V E R W H E L M E D!

Can I get a little mojo, please?

2008-07-02T20:13:00.000-07:00

Connor has had infections since the day after Jason left for Iraq. The normal course of ear drop antibiotics we use did not work, still did not work when I used them for 2 weeks instead of one. Oh that goes for the medication for his eye infection too!

Severe Cleft kid = congenital ear and eye infections = mom who drinks wine.

2 weeks of augmentin = nada, now he has a DOUBLE ear infection!

Now he is on omnicef...and he has a UTI...but Jason says omnicef will knock out a UTI too, so that is good.

Can I get a little positive mojo from y'all? We need thoughts, prayers, whatever. Poor Connor. Poor Mama.

Big Girl Panties

2008-06-16T19:52:00.000-07:00

We are managing. We are making new friends because we have to.

So I am spacing my time out like this:

Friday: Project night with the SCA where I am making garb (costumes) for the kids with my own sewing machine that I just learned how to use. Really interesting people, the kids LOVE it.

Saturday: nothing!

Sunday: church, Michael's Craft Store, and brunch at The End of the Line Cafe vegan restaurant where we get an amazing amount of food for $8.00 a person, but Connor just eats a whole order of hummus and pita bread.

7:00 AM to4 PM: amazing amount of work taking care of 8 pets, 2 kids, homeschooling, frantic cleaning, doing the bills for the first time in my life, CRAFTS!

4-5PM: Jason calls

5 PM - 11 PM: amazing amount of work taking care of 8 pets, 2 kids, homeschooling, frantic cleaning, doing the bills for the first time in my life, CRAFTS!

I get to talk to Jason everyday, which is cool. I feel bad for him because a lot of the time I sound a bit frantic/ Why? See above. He told me today that he works out 2 hours a day! I repeat 2 HOURS a day. Wow, I wish I had that kind of time to myself, then again, I don't want to have to go to Iraq to do it, nor do I want to see 18-22 year olds blown apart by IEDs. That part sucks.

He can't tell me about that part of his day, gag order for obvious reasons, but he can send me a link in my e-mail from Fox News detailing the latest round of people blown up near his base, yep, that is what he tended to that day. Google Kirkuk and look at the news tab.

He says the base is cool because they have lots of food, he specifically likes the cheesecake and chi lattes. Hmm, not the MREs I was imagining thank goodness! He has a lot of luxuries guys in the field do not have, but I think he is going to be a bit traumatized by what he has seen in terms of blown apart bodies.

We went to a birthday party for a girl in our homeschool group today and that was cool, the kids ran around in an arcade and had a blast. Hopefully these people will "stick" as a group for us to hang around with, the last group, the Mom's Club was not a fit at all. Epic fail. The women hated me, Alanna bit other kids twice and the moms were horrified, Connor was loud and louder. Of course no other children in the f*ing club were ever rowdy, just mine. Connor at pre-school: fail, belonging to the Moms Club: fail, the fact that we are not Baptist or any other main-stream denomination: fail. Next.

My mom is coming next week, so I am looking forward to having another living soul to talk to...even if it IS one who doesn't really like kids. Maybe the one-on-one time will make her bond with the kids, we'll see.

Our next big thing we are looking forward to is Alanna's birthday. We are driving to Atlanta to go to the big aquarium there and then go to the American Girl Doll Boutique & Bistro. Alanna will be getting her first doll (from my mom), her first outfit for her doll (from Jason's mom) , her first outfit for her to match her doll (from me) and her first American Girl store shopping experience. They will have a cake for us and everything. My sister-in-law may or may not show up, at this point, all I care about is that go SOMEWHERE and do SOMETHING fun.

After that we get to look forward to Jason's little sister's wedding in September. I get to drive for a few days by myself with the kids, then be surrounded by Jason's family, do the obligatory stop at my parent's house, then drive a few days back. I feel overwhelmed just typing that. Every cotton picking member of his family and no Jason in sight to protect me from my own damn big mouth. Frack. Pray that I don't get myself into trouble with them...again. Please?

One last thing before I end this rant: I have lost 7 lbs. and counting since Jason left! Go me! I am exercising 3 days a week and trying to fit it in more times, I'd like to do it at least 5 days a week, but we'll see. Eating is a breeze, no splurging when Mr. Super Metabolism isn't around! Ok, so I have learned that I use having him around as a reason to gorge myself on the weekends...but who doesn't use "family together time" as a reason to eat rich, fatty, sugary, salty, carb-laden yummy foods?

/end rant

There May Be Hope Yet!

2008-06-03T19:11:00.000-07:00

Way to go Obama! I must admit that I came into this race a Hillary supporter and before that I said that if McCain ever ran I'd vote for him, and yes I even Googled Ron Paul.

Hillary is my girl, so don't you even! Step off eh? Wanna fight? But I must admit that Obama won me over, he just may be the only person who can unite our country AND get us back in the good graces with the rest of the countries who used to like us...maybe help blacks and whites bridge some gaps...get us the FUCK out of Iraq safely...get us to sign environmental treaties...end hunger...

Let's just say I have high hopes. If Hill was the VP I'd be even more excited, let's just be happy that one of the most eloquent men I have ever heard will now be on the presidential ticket. Hell yea.

Revelation!

2008-05-29T10:38:00.000-07:00

Did you notice that the decline in my mood and patriotism seem to coincide with the waning of my caffeine buzz. Solution: more caffeine?

My Moods

2008-05-28T12:54:00.000-07:00

I think that this deployment is leaving me very moody, but it is on a schedule. Here it is as best as I can figure:

7:00 AM - optimistic
9:00 AM - liberated
11:00 AM - empowered
1:00 PM - neutral
3:00 PM - tired
5:00 PM - frazzled
7:00 PM - disgruntled
9:00 PM - frothing at the mouth raging bitch
11:00 PM - wine buzzed

Plan your times to communicate with me accordingly. By the evening I am combative enough to take out the Taliban single-handed. I am frantic, pissed, feel trapped and abandoned at the same time. Don't call me in the evening to discuss how patriotic I feel about the situation if you don't want to be yelled at. If you want me to recite the oath of how proud I am and how we are keeping our chins up talk to me in the morning, talk to me at other times and I may be forced to tell you the truth. Talk to me after the wine and I'll tell you how I feel about the entire world - you don't want this.

I think it is kind of like pendulum, in the morning I realize that I do not have it bad compared to so many people on this planet and in my own neighborhood for that matter, the day is ours to do with as we like and it feels good not to revolve around some one else's schedule. By the time evening rolls around the magnitude of how much I have to do on my own becomes overwhelming and I freak out.

I live in BFE and that makes it difficult for people to visit, even by plane their is no direct flight, that means that it is hard to get to, and with gas prices the way they are it is expensive to drive here, I get that. I also get that the majority of the people here suck ass. I get that I have to put myself out more and find my own group, which will probably be from the SCA so that I can geek out as much as I want without upsetting the bible beaters here.

I think this would be totally different if this was a war I supported and a cause I believed in, unfortunately I see this as a pit of despair being made worse everyday, and unless my husband goes AWOL and goes to jail or runs to Canada we are screwed and have to do what Bush tells us to do. This is not a job he can just quit. I never want him to be deployed again, I don't want him to sign up again, I hate this.

Oops, frothing at the mouth raging bitch has come early today. Damn. Wine buzz must earlier to compensate soon or all hell will break loose.

Bye.

Being the Fun One

2008-05-21T19:15:00.000-07:00

So my biggest adjustment so far has been changing my role. I used to just be disciplinarian, teacher, beast wrangler, chef, maid, sex goddess (LOL!)...now I have to be fun too. Man I think I used to be fun, I mean my niece and nephew thought I was fun when I was just "Crazy Aunt Colleen". It was great to play with kids, spoil them, then put them back where you found them, but in reality I have relied on Jason to be the fun one because dammit I HAVE TOO MUCH TO DO TO BE FUN!!! Being in charge is stressful and playing when you are all stressed out does not work. Dee, Nicole what is the first thing I do when I get to hang out with you once a year or once every few months? Tequila Sunrises! I have to, man it is hard to carry so many responsibilities with you at all times.

Jason is gone, I have to be fun. I have to make sure that I stop getting things done and make time to play. We went to the beach tonight for a picnic, but we almost didn't make it because Connor was being a five year-old boy and my one remaining semi not frazzled nerve was about to go. He sincerely begged me and we ended up having a good time. I think I am learning a lot on this deployment, it is a huge time for serious reflection.

I can do this because: I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggonnit I bought a new bottle of wine.

Have You Seen This Pony?

2008-05-15T18:15:00.000-07:00

She is missing, last seen stuffed deep inside Jason's bag.

Jason rescued one of Alanna's "My Little Pony" figures from the wrath of a chewy puppy a few days ago and it has been sitting on top of his night side table ever since. This morning when we woke up I was feeling a bit naughty so I grabbed the pink pony and stuffed it into his nicely packed bag. I giggled imagining his surprise when he gets to Iraq and pulls a pony out of his bag, then realized that he needed one of Connor's toys to balance things out.

Yea, a whale is going to Iraq.

Am I passive agressive? Maybe. Do I think it is incredible silly to think of a man stationed in Iraq wearing full camo gear pulling a pink pony out of his bag? Absolutely. Does a deployed father need a whale? You bet. I am sure the kids will get a kick out of seeing pictures of their toys in Iraq with Daddy.

This is Why We HAve Too Many Animals, They Are So Cute!

2008-05-13T07:11:00.000-07:00

Jason and I thought you had to see how we have corrupted the natural order of animals.
Starring: Hailey the Dog, Sam the Cowardly Cat, Chloe the Rat (black and white) and Lavender the Rat (all gray).

Mother's Day Musings

2008-05-11T19:05:00.000-07:00

My husband told me when we first met that he was agnostic, he hated anything to do with religion and has sneered at any mention of churches. Today while we are at church he told me he was going to go the bathroom while the kids were playing on the playground, he comes back with the minister so we can officially sign the membership book and join the church. Wow, unexpected, but wonderful.

There is a new giraffe at the local zoo, he is a male. "Does he have a polka dot weiner?"

Me: "One more game of my new game: Mario Cart Racing." Connor: "You so totally rock mom!"

Usually a phone call during dinner upsets me, but this one gave me a few extra precious days with my husband. What a great Mother's Day Gift!

Happy thoughts, happy thoughts

2008-05-08T19:32:00.000-07:00

Go check out Oka b shoes

What's happier than shoes? Mmmmm, yummy. I got a pair of these sandals in New Orleans and fell in love with them, They are antimicrobial, waterproof, and best of all you can put whatever ribbon you like in them! As long as a craft store sells ribbon, you can change your shoes to match your outfit!

I like the Caroline style the best, with a slight wedge, but there are lots of other styles too. I originally bought them in brown, but today I ordered them in red and black too. Free shipping right now. Kids sizes too!

This style is called the Madison, I bet I know a certain Virginia dwelling girl who might like a pair.

See, no freaking out about Iraq?

Making A Resolution

2008-05-07T08:39:00.000-07:00

Ok, I am determined not to turn this blog into a bitch fest while Jason is gone. I will try to write only the positive things that happen so that I will focus on the positive.

Um, preparing for a deployment has helped us to get lots of stuff on our "to do" list done, including filling out paperwork for a will.

See? Positive.

The Countdown Begins

2008-04-30T18:10:00.000-07:00

Jason is now "off" from work till he deploys. Less than 2 weeks now. I just broke into a sweat typing that. Crap. I don't want him to go.

He points out that it means he is one day closer to getting home and like to say "they can't stop time". No, the Air Force can't stop time...yet, I'm sure they are working on it though.

Bad Furniture!

2008-04-22T07:09:00.000-07:00

Alanna fell off of a side table this morning and was crying. Connor first looked at me to tell me that he did NOT do it, then he comforted Alanna and scolded the table "BAD FURNITURE, BAD,BAD,BAD!"

Yesterday he told me that when Alanna grows up and wants to move away, we have to stop her so that we can keep her forever.

This is the cool part of being a mom.

No Ranting, Just Raving

2008-04-19T19:01:00.000-07:00

There is a new ice cream flavor that is so yummy: Ben & Jerry's Cake Batter. Think yellow cake with chocolate frosting. It really tastes like yellow cake batter and the chocolate frosting swirl really tastes like chocolate frosting. I love Ben & Jerry's.

When life gets crazy, eat Ben & Jerry's. Now why am I having trouble losing weight?

F*** School

2008-04-10T17:39:00.000-07:00

So Connor and I finally get to the bottom of a big thing making him unhappy: he really, really, really hates school. He does not like his teacher, his classmates, the program...nothing about it. Sure, most kids hate school, but not preschool! He told me last night that he missed his old preschool and his buddies there. We are finishing up the school year next month, and he still does not have good friends at school, he misses his friends from Maryland. In Maryland he was the only white child in his class, and I think he liked it that way. Lol. Connor will always be the whitest kid in the room where ever he goes due to his syndrome, but I digress. I talked to Jason last night and reminded me that his mother took him out of preschool because he was not ready. In my family we were not allowed to quit anything. I had to weigh these opposing sides in my mind.

Today we were at a strawberry picking farm with our Mom's Club group and one mother who happened to be at the preschool yesterday told Connor "You had a really bad day yesterday didn't you?" She told me how he was throwing fits because he hates to sing with the group. Wow, so even to the casual unbiased observer how Connor is miserable at the school. It is a nice school!

I asked him what they were singing that he hated so much and he said "songs about God". Fine, we're done. Fuck school.

One: we don't bring him there to reinforce our religious views, they run contrary to the school in some cases.

Two: he is reading at a first grade level and refuses to do work because he is bored to tears.

Three: we thought that preschool would be good for him socially, but he does not like the children there, so it is backfiring.

Four: preschool is not preparing him for school because he is going to be homeschooled next year.

He is so happy that tomorrow is his last day. I am a stick it out person no matter what, so I had to suck it up, but I think this will ease a huge burden in his life.

Just too much on my plate

2008-04-09T12:30:00.000-07:00

You ever just have too much going on? I am on overload and don't know how to get back my balance. We have had a crazy time in the past few months, now Jason is on a TDY and supposed to be home on Saturday, but he will be flying home out of Dallas on American, so wish us luck.

I was supposed to get my mojo back this past weekend because my best buddy from childhood and I had been planning a trip to New Orleans for months. She said that a friend of hers from home MIGHT need to hang out with us if her plans with an old boyfriend fell through. Boy did they fall through. This girl basically crashed my getaway weekend , made me feel like a third wheel with my own friend and didn't even offer to pay her share of the hotel room. I just feel empty inside about it. Have not talked to my friend since I came home.

Connor is so angry with Daddy not being home that he is destroying anything in his path. He is so out of control that I took away ALL of his toys and books, everything. This is after I threw away many of his Transformers because he has been peeing on the carpet...just because he feels like it. I am waiting to hear back from a children's mental health professional right now.

I am just done. I am so done and things really haven't even started yet, It's only going to get worse when Jason goes to Iraq.

I think it is 5 o'clock somewhere...right now.

Belief-O-Matic

2008-03-25T10:18:00.000-07:00

I scored 100% for Unitarian Universalist in the Belief-O-Matic quiz, which is cool, because I just joined the Unitarian Universalist Church of Pensacola! Sweet. They are so chill, you can believe in the flying spaghetti monster and they are like"tell me more". I actually heard a sermon that made me cry. It was so beautiful. Basically it was about seeing Jesus's death as the execution of a man who spoke out for tolerance and love, and about how the politics of the day got rid of him for it. The idea was why would an all-knowing, all-loving God kill his son? He didn't, men did. From there we know the story was used as propaganda.

I think Jesus is way cool and probably spends his free time playing pool with Moses, Buddha and Muhammad. They probably sit around shaking their heads at what a mess humans have made of the messages they gave us. Anywhoo, This is how the Belief-O-Matic describes Unitarian Universalists:

Belief in Deity
Very diverse beliefs--Unitarian/Universalists welcome all deity beliefs as well as nontheistic beliefs. Some congregations are formed for those who share a common belief, e.g. Christianity.

• Incarnations
Very diverse beliefs, including belief in no incarnations, or that all are the embodiment of God. Some believe Christ is God's Son, or not Son but "Wayshower."

• Origin of Universe and Life
Diverse beliefs, but most believe in the Bible as symbolic and that natural processes account for origins.

• After Death
Diverse beliefs, but most believe that heaven and hell are not places but are symbolic. Some believe heaven and hell are states of consciousness either in life or continuing after death; some believe in reincarnation; some believe that afterlife is nonexistent or not known or not important, as actions in life are all that matter.

• Why Evil?
Most do not believe that humanity inherited original sin from Adam and Eve or that Satan actually exists. Most believe that God is good and made people inherently good but also with free will and an imperfect nature that leads some to immoral behavior. Diverse beliefs. Some believe wrong is committed when people distance themselves from God. Some believe in “karma,” that what goes around comes around. Some believe wrongdoing is a matter of human nature, psychology, sociology, etc.

• Salvation
Some believe in salvation through faith in God and Jesus Christ, along with doing good works and doing no harm to others. Many believe all will be saved, as God is good and forgiving. Some believe in reincarnation and the necessity to eliminate personal greed or to learn all of life’s lessons before achieving enlightenment or salvation. For some, the concepts of salvation or enlightenment are irrelevant or disbelieved.

• Undeserving Suffering
Diverse beliefs. Most Unitarians do not believe that Satan causes suffering. Some believe suffering is part of God’s plan, will, or design, even if we don’t immediately understand it. Some don’t believe in any spiritual reasons for suffering, and most take a humanistic approach to helping those in need.

• Contemporary Issues
The Unitarian Universalist Association’s stance is to protect the personal right to choose abortion. Other contemporary views include working for equality for homosexuals, gender equality, a secular approach to divorce and remarriage, working to end poverty, promoting peace and nonviolence, and environmental protection.

Rest In Peace Heath

2008-01-24T08:04:00.000-08:00

Why do celebrity deaths disturb us so deeply? We don't actually know them so we? Well maybe we do. The human being is programmed to respond to other human beings and form attachments, and we form attachments through visual, audio, and sensory input; two of these 3 things are achieved through TV and movies. Combine the ability to experience audio and visual input from the same person in the confines of your own home on a repeated basis, and some little part of your brain stores affection for this person, or at least the character they play. I have been watching "A Knight's Tale" over and over again for the last few weeks while I work out on my treadmill. I know that logically we have never met, but some part of me feels like a friend who was just at my house last week, has died suddenly.

I am saddened that a man I thought was very intelligent, very talented and very good looking will no longer make movies for me to enjoy. I am saddened as the parent of a two year-old girl that two year-old Matilda will not know her father. I am freaked out that there are two new movies out there that will be playing on the big screen and he will not be alive...it will be creepy to watch with that huge shadow cast on his performances. I am saddened that my own personal feel good movie will darken a little because of the sudden death of the main character.

First Steve Irwin, now Heath Ledger, two awesome Aussie men called back to the force. So sad.

If I could, I'd trade Brittany, Paris, Lindsey Lohan and Tom Cruise to get you back mate! It's just not fair that the crappy people thrive will the good men die. Maybe you were just here for a brief time to inspire us to do better. I'll go hug my daughter even longer today and remember to make each moment count.

Good bye Sir Ulrich von Lichtenstein, Gelderland will never be the same without you. Rest in peace Sir William Thatcher, wished I could have changed your stars.

Happy Halloween!

2007-10-28T18:01:00.000-07:00

Click Here for great kid friendly Halloween Songs!

A new post...FINALLY!

2007-10-10T18:15:00.001-07:00

Life is going pretty well here in Florida. Connor has a new preschool, Alanna goes to the day care at the gym while I work out, I go to several Mom's Club events a week, and my sexy little business is taking off.

We finished the second coat of paint in our bedroom(started in July)and got our pretty, pretty ceiling fan up tonight. We have never ever done much to our bedroom in any place we have lived so having something really pretty is new to us. We decorated the walls of our new bedroom with pictures of flowers taken on our anniversary trip to Williamsburg, VA so that they have special meaning to us. The bedspread is from the Sears Ty Pennington collection. Love Ty! The green came out darker than we expected but now we love it.

The kids at a "Barn Bash" Halloween festival.

Connor is starting to read and wanted asked me how to spell "poop" and "turd" today, gotta love it. Alanna gets along with every child well and I am always told how sweet she is. I almost don't know what to do with a normal child. No phone calls home about hitting? No blood curdling screams after 5 minutes of play with new children? Hmmm.

Here is my directorial debut, Connor had to bring in something that started with "E" for show and tell. I went overboard but had fun. Enjoy!

I am still alive!

2007-08-27T11:45:00.001-07:00

I know, it has been a few months. Honestly I am having way too much fun with my MySpace page, reconnecting with all sorts of people from my childhood to blog.

We're in Florida now in our brand new house. We have little storage space, so we are trying to be inventive about finding new homes for our belongings. Oh, good excuses to get pretty new bookshelves. Tee Hee!

Um...

We played with hermit crabs on a random beach in Pensacola this weekend. Hermit crabs just run around wild all over the beaches here, they are so cute and fun to hold. Alanna likes to pick them up and throw them back in the water "Mermit Crab go SPLASH!"

If you feel like saying "hi" leave a comment.

What's Up With Parabens?

2007-04-15T09:53:00.000-07:00

Parabens are in just about everything we put on our bodies...deodorant, cosmetics, lotions, face masks cleansers...and they are known to act as weak forms of the hormone estrogen and a recent study showed that 6 different kinds of parabens were found in breast cancer tissue samples.

WTF?

Look in your personal care products, you WILL find parabens in there. Could it be possible that we are slathering ourselves in products that disrupt our normal hormones and lead to cancers, especially brest cancer? Every product I own from Bath and Body Works has parabens, Origins too! Why is it that now more than ever women still have acne into their later years? We are putting hormone disrupting lotions on our bodies and faces and thiking it will cause no harm. This freaks me out!!!

Read about the study from a breast cancer site (breast cancer.org)here

I also found out today that the baby wash I use on my children contain high levels of 1,4-Dioxane, a petroleum derived contaminant considered a probable carcinogen by the EPA and suspected by others to cause birth defects. Crap. What does the EPA do but sit around torturing animals for the fuck of it just to allow us to slather ourselves in carcinogens so that one day decades from now we can point to all of the chemicals we dump into our cosmetics, toiletries, food and water supply and prove that cause cancer and birth defects?

Read about it here. I bet the stuff you are washing your children with is on this list.

What are we supposed to do?

vkjasdng;aoisrg;kdjfvbsdkfjbv

2007-03-30T09:21:00.000-07:00

I have so much to do and I am procrastinating. Hi. I have a lot of coffee running in my veins, but I don't really want to use the energy. I procrastinate by sitting in front of the computer, clicking endlessly as if seeking sustinance from life-giving web pages. Yea, you are doing it too, right now in fact.

I am supposed to be cleaning, getting ready for a Passion Party tonight, getting ready for my "Daddy Daughter Day" of going to Philly to see the King Tut exhibit at the butt crack of dawn on Saturday, supposed to be getting ready for having my neice and nephew over on Sunday/Monday. Supposed to, supposed to, suposed to. Procrastinating.

All I really care about are the rumors of getting our orders next week. I keep looking at houses in the Eglin area and drooling. I love the for rent/for sale where we could move right in now and maybe buy in a year when the doctor money is comming in. A real honest to goodness house! EEEEK!

I have such senior-itis. I am ready to go, ready to pack TJ, Nicole and their kids and pets into my suitcase and bolt out of here. Procrastinate. Maybe if I write enough about my procrastination, the Procrastination Fairy will do all of my work for me. Hmm. I think I feel a monkey comming out of my butt. Not litterally.

AHHHHHH!

SPRING

2007-03-25T11:47:00.000-07:00

We are back from Disney. Cute pictures are here.

Character breakfast with Leo and June from The Little Einstiens

Character breakfast with the princesses at the Norway pavillion in Epcot. Alanna was in a Little Mermaid wedding dress and we were thrilled that the Little Mermaid was there in a dress too!

Belle!

Mater!

When asked if Connor wanted to be Peter Pan or Captain Hook this Halloween, he went for Hook. Not surprising for a kid who chose Darth Vader over Han Solo at age 2.

And then of course we have Alanna in her mermaid fin costume and Ariel in her fins!

So...cute...dying...from...cuteness...overload...

Yea the kids had a good time. Yea the kids were also a pain, but we are teaching them how to be travelers: how to to plane rides, sleep in a hotel room, deal with public transportation etc.

We also got Alanna a Tinkerbell costume so that this year our Halloween theme will be Captain Hook and Tinkerbell. Tee hee :)

Spring is here and the exercise has resumed. I feel better already. I have a feeling that time is going to FLY from here on out. We only have about 4 months till we move...where ever it is we are going to move!

Weeee.

Miscommunication

2007-03-06T16:27:00.000-08:00

I had a multi product party for all fo us ladies in the neighborhood who are doing "parties". I had a Pampered Chef lady, a Creative Memories lady and a lady who makes her own jewelry. The Creative Memories lady, who I will refer to as CM put in a lot of work advertising the party all around base. Pampered Chef went first and was fine. My turn at Passion Parties was next, but 2 minutes into my presentation CM got a panicked look in her eyes and left my house. She came back for her Creative Memories stuff, but did not even do her presentation. It was awkward to finish my presentation to say the least, and out of 8 people ONE person placed an order with me. Fricking prudes. Last time I try with this stuck up bunch that's for sure. These are my friends though..."Um Earth to Colleen, selling sex toys to officer's wives is a risky venture". Yes yes, still if it had worked it would have been so cool. I have many people out there wanting to have Passion Parties, jut not the ladies here in my neighorhood.

But all of us at the party were a little put off by CM's reaction. The way she left I thought she had a family emergency or something. Then she brought her husband to help pack up her table full of stuff and he said "What's up heathens?" Didn't go over too well with the ladies. Needless to say the rumor mill has been working overtime here in our little neighborhood. I thought my friend CM would call me the next day and explain, three days go by till we meet face to face and figure things out. Apparently I had metioned doing a mild PG rated presentation back in December. Oops. I have like 2 brain cells sometimes, I take care of 2 little kids, stuff gets forgotten. Needless to say I had a few toys to display and that is when CM bolted for the door. We are still friends, and got everything worked out, but now we have to do damage control in the neighborhood. Nobody called me, but like 5 people called CM asking what went on and said that they had been hearing about it everywhere. Good grief.

I told her today that it's like there are 2 gangs of kids on the playground trying to egg us on into a fight, "She called you a rotten egg", "Yea well she said you look funny". Look ladies we're not going to fight, the show is over.

If she had just reminded me of her sensitivity to sex toys...ah well, hindsight is 20/20.

Now that the alleged catfight is over I can concentrate on my brother-in-laws wedding reception this weekend, and then our flight to Disney World 36 hours later. You know, just chaos all around. Have a good weekend everyone, and remember to ask everyone in the room if it is alright before you go waving your vibrators around!

I'm Fine Again

2007-02-21T20:12:00.000-08:00

I got the short hair mopes out of my system and am fine again. A little gel and life will be fine. :)

Ode to a Bad Haircut

2007-02-19T15:32:00.000-08:00

Shorn locks of despair I rebuke you
there is no Control Z to undo you,
no Control Alt Delete to restart this chopped disaster,
only 6 months of wearing hats wishing my hair grew faster.

Tentacles of love reduced to bleeding stumps
I bleed, I bleed, I bleed...

What was supposed to be an uplifting hour of beauty
has turned to guerilla warfare on my head
a passing glance at a mirror fills me with dread.

I read a book or watch TV to recharge with a new perspective
But in the the end I am reminded, and it sucks my will to live

I run my fingers through what should be sleek and alluring
what I find is butchered, bruised, hacked and uneven
no further cutting can repair this mullet I am enduring

Call me utterly vain, psychotic if you dare
but nothing you say could hurt me more than ruining my hair.

UPDATE: Ok, seeing Brittany's awful haircut actually makes me feel a little bit better about mine, I am not bald at least.

Happy Icy Valentines Day!

2007-02-14T07:32:00.000-08:00

What's it REALLY like to be married to a doctor?

2007-02-13T08:20:00.000-08:00

Hearing him roll over in the middle of the night and mumble "Potassium!"

or months later...

Kissing him goodnight (after he fell asleep before me) and having him ask me "Are there a lot of diabetics in that group?" I was puzzeled and he restated "Are there a lot of diabetics in that crew?" What do I say to that? "Yes Honey, goodnight." I kissed him on the forehead and went to sleep.

Positive News

2007-02-08T16:19:00.000-08:00

Finally I blog about positive news, not just me venting. Jason talked to the assignments officer today and he said we were 90% assured of going to Eglin AFB. Yea Florida! TJ & Nicole are SOOO coming to swim with the manatees!

We might even get written confirmation next month. Yea Florida!

Then one of the "Crocodile Hunter" episodes filmed at Eglin came on the tv and Jason and I looked at each other like "it's a sign". Yea Florida.

Keep your fingers crossed! I'll fill you in on Dee as soon as she knows something.

About the kitty: apparently cats are good at not being a hospital environment for heart worms, unlike dogs. So if we keep him healthy, treating the symptoms, chances are good that the adult worms will just die off and he will be fine. Thanks for the positive kitty mojo!

Overwhelmed

2007-02-05T12:43:00.000-08:00

There is so much going on around here that I am just overwhelmed. Between my new business, preschool, colds and coughs that keep us up all night, 30 hour shifts at the hospital, a cat with newly diagnosed heart worms and a house that keeps forming piles of stuff everywhere, I am a bit overwhelmed!

My business is really taking off, I am shocked at how easy it has been to book parties! I have 4 booked for February, 3 booked for March and 1 for April already! AHH! Every party that I have done has generated another party off of it and then some. I signed up to do a booth at a Bridal Fair on another base...but now I don't even want to do it because I am getting booked so quickly I don't need the leads! Now the problem is sorting through the finances and figuring out how to run this and make a profit while keeping some stock on hand. This has been quite a learning experience for Jason and I, but a really good one if we want to run a real business like our own practice one day!

I am enjoying the parties though, I get to dress up and laugh my butt off with other ladies while I earn money for our family vacations. Any chance to break out of the Mommy Uniform: jeans, cotton shirt in accordance with the season and comfortable shoes of some type, is a good thing to lift my spirits. Just the fact that I was always one of those girls who did not get along with other girls growing up...and now I have turned that around is quite an accomplishment for me. Sure, there are still some snots who will look down their noses at me, but I am the one having all of the fun and they are not. Nya nya na nya nyaaaaa. Look on biaatches, you don't know what you are missing and I don't care.

I made an executive decision that my business will pay for one housecleaning a month. Sure, our regular finances will have to pay for the second bi-monthly cleaning but that way Jason can't complain that much. I told him it was either have someone come and help me clean, or go on an anti-depressant...I just can't deal with the battle of the bulging mess that I seem to be losing. Back in the day we used to clean together, now it seems like we have 5 minutes after we put the kids to bed and before he passes out from exhaustion to even say "Hi" to each other, let alone get lingering household chores done. I feel bad begging him to help me after he has been taking care of patients for 12 hours straight. I mean I do it, but I feel bad. Lol. So true.

So "Katie" comes tomorrow to help me take control of this mess. I hope to be feeling on cloud 9 after some of these chores finally get taken care of!

I don't mean to leave you hanging when it comes to my cat. The test came back positive, but not in a high amount, so they think it can be treated...but I am unsure about a lot of the diagnosis, so I will keep you informed as I know more.

Oh and did I mention that my best friend from childhood has some yucky changes in her breasts that might be really bad? I am just trying to send her positive mojo with every breath. Send positive mojo to my friend Dee!!!

Coming up next on this blog: stuff I've learned from the new Passion Parties book.

Positive Mojo

2007-01-12T16:42:00.000-08:00

Your positive mojo worked, the stomach flu was very mild, just a few cramps here and there.

Now your next mojo-sending project is to help us(and Connor)to take this potty-training thing to the next level: bedtime. As I type this Connor has had three stories read to him, teeth brushed and I am listening to Jason's lecture about going "pee pee on they potty and then right back to bed". My turn to step in and enforce the effort. Wish us luck!

Ok Stomach Flu, Come and Get Me

2007-01-08T20:55:00.000-08:00

The K family has had the stomach flu for the last few days. Regular puking, hiny-butt puking, cramps, midnight crying and sheet changing...the works. Connor got it first, then Jason, then Alanna. Jason has been the worst, just violently ill. When a doctor wants to go to the hospital to get a few pints of fluid in him, he's really sick.

But when you see the other three people in your house get sick, you know it's going to get you too. I have been watching and waiting, anticipating my very own stomach bug so this can be a complete family fun fest. It all starts with the stomach cramps for a few days, which have been annoying me all day. Here it comes. Will it be a merciful smack to the head or an all out brawl where I worship the porcelain bowl for days on end from both sides of my digestive tract?

I'm on pins and needles.

But man won't it be a great jumpstart to my weight loss plan? "Colleen you look FABULOUS! How did you loose so much weight, and why do you smell so bad. What is your secret diet?" Forget the South Beach Plan, try the Chunder Beach Plan! OK, have to go rest my tummy now. Wish me well.

Cheers To A New Year!

2007-01-03T07:27:00.000-08:00

My birthday went well, hip hip horay for day spas! My darling hubby made my veggie sushi upon request and even took Alanna to the Commissary to get the ingredients. A man who braves that awful place for me is my hero!

I am excited about gaining 7 pounds...why you ask? Because it is only 7 pounds. Considering the holiday gorging I did I am proud of that. I am even more proud that I did not let guilt set in one damn time, I fought it all the way! I reminded myself that I KNOW how to lose weight and it will be easy to slip back into my new lifestle of fitness and eating right. I have thrown away most of the junk food we accumulated, and will get rid of my cake and the remaining chips today. Yea living healthier in 2007!

Joy for the day: stealing time to myself to read the newest Archeology Magazine (LOVE IT!)I read it from cover to cover when it arrives.

Also, I booked my first party! My friend Tracy is going to have a party Feb 2, I can't wait to book more.

Here is a little secret between you, me and the Internet: I am bringing my Passion Party kit to the Resident Retreat later this month. Can't you just see it? A bunch of drunken doctors at a rented cabin for the weekend and me doing an impromtu Passion Party! We'll see if it works, but I bet they will think a couple of vibrating products will be really funny after some shots of Jagermeister!

Looking Down The Dark Tunnel Of 32

2006-12-28T18:25:00.000-08:00

I am back from my vacation. Vermont was 40 degrees and slushy. Out of 78 ski slopes there were 9 open, 8 of which were too hard for Connor to ski, and the one green they had open was way too scary for him. We drove to another ski resort an hour away where they had a cute little bunny slope that all 3 of us could enjoy. We got about 3 actual hours of skiing togetherness the whole week. But at least we got that!

The highlight of the trip was the 2 person jacuzzi in the master bedroom, it had a shelf above it witha tv on it! Woohoo! Jason and I put the kids to bed and had a steamy saok with a cold beer in hand while we watched "It's a Wonderful Life"! Way cool. The condo where we stayed was very relaxing and cozy. Alanna went to daycare for a few days and had a GREAT time. The kids facilities were really superb. Too bad the weather was too warm for snowmaking/skiing. It was kind of like visiting Disney World with 3/4 of the rides broken and a hurricane on the horrizon. Oh well, We made the best of it.

The highlight was the visit to the Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream Factory. YUMMMMM! Vermont is so pround of their ice cream that I swear they sell it on the street corners. We ate a lot of Ben and Jerry's on this trip. I discovered Carmel Sutra: chocolate ice cream with chocolate ships on one side and carmel ice cream on the other side with a core of molten carmel in the center of the pint. Ice Cream Gasm!

Oh, and Christmas was ok too. But thank goodness all of that is over. Now all I have to worry about is turning 32 next week. Whooptedoo. I get a spa day to myself...no kids or husband...no family members screwing things up..just me getting pampered. Am I really going to be that old? Crap.

Swooooooooosh!

2006-12-09T16:51:00.000-08:00

That's the sound I'll be making on the slopes this week. By the time you read this I will be in Vermont for a ski vacation. Outta here!

Abscess and Polyp Go To Whale France

2006-12-06T11:35:00.000-08:00

Why have I had such crazy ranting blogs latley? Could be the stress. Connor has had 2 emergency procedures in the past two weeks. After 2 months of on again off again ear infections with puss, gunk and then blood coming out of his ears the ENT finally did something about it other than medicate him, he did some exploratory surgery and found polyps in his eardrum. They can't be removed, but yet another medication can be administered to them and finally make his ear better...that and some even newer tubes than the ones he got in September. I convinced him that a Minke whale was in his ear, and his surgeon had to get it out. Yep, Dr. H handed it to him right after his surgery. He now has a Minke whale named "Polyp", who by the way is very happy not to be swimming in Connor's ear any more.

Yesterday Connor had an emergency tooth extraction after we found and abscess right above one of his front teeth, (well his only front tooth left after he pushed the other one up into his gums from falling into his train table a few months back). The reason this is so awful is that for a kid with a cleft palate, that area is worth $1 million dollars in terms of holding his face together. Remove teeth from that area and the bone does not have a good reason to stay strong. It causes pain in the pit of my stomach to think about what could happen if that area has bone problems. Even typing this I have tears in my eyes and my hands are shaking. This kid has just been through SO much. Even with the best Peds dentist the Navy has to offer it was awful. We had to wait outside the room and could hear Connor scream as the tooth came out. He had plenty of anesthesia, but it was traumatic for him, and for us. As a parent you just want to take the pain away, I'd gladly take his place to spare him an ounce of the pain he has been through. It was a good thing we found the abscess right away, he had a big brown hole going through the center of his tooth that could not be seen from the front. Trouble had been brewing.

Needless to say his dentist found a whale up in his gums, his name is "Abscess". His dentist gave him Abscess right after the tooth came out, and Connor was cradling it when we were allowed back in. Abscess the blue whale and Polyp the Minke whale are best buddies now, and are telling each other about the adventures they had swimming around in Connor's head, I on the other hand am running out of stocking stuffers for Connor! I am praying that no more "whales" need to come out of Connor any time soon!

Connor comes though everything like a champ though. He was making his new whales dance and told me they were going to go to France. I asked him about what was in France and he told me people. I started to tell him about what is in France and the whales didn't want to go to that France...they were going to "Whale France". I don't know where Whale France is, but I hope it is fun.

Not Another Australian!

2006-12-01T07:48:00.000-08:00

I am having a love/hate relationship with famous Australians right now. Why? Because I get too attached to them. The loss of Steve Irwin is still a hole in my heart. Now Greg Page of The Wiggles has to leave the group due to health issues. Thank goodness he was not savaged by a Tasmanian Devil or anything, at least there will not be retribution attacks like there were on stingrays after the Crocodile Hunter's death! But once again, I make The Wiggles a regular part of my life with Play House Disney, cds and dvds, was planning to take my children to see them and now am heartbroken.

Yes I need help, I get WAY too attatched to people on TV. Don't you think I know that? This is part of my therapy...getting it out of my system.

Fortunately The Wiggles are still going to perform, albeit with a replacement Wiggle. My kids will never know, but I will. Why GOD? Why Greg?

At least it was not Anthony, the blue Wiggle, he is my favorite...rrrrowww. Oh I am so completely mental, I think one of The Wiggles is sexy! Hmm, I'd like to touch Anthony's hot potato. STOP! STOP! I am calling TriCare right now to make a shrink appointment. He'll probably tell me to stop watching kid's television.

Next to go will be Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman, two other Australians I really like. The rest of The Wiggles better watch out too. Stock up on memorabilia now, if they are Australian and I like them, they are SO screwed.

Then again my absolute favorite Australian, The Great Barrier Reef, is in jeopardy anyway due to environmental factors. It is one of my life long dreams to scuba dive there. By the time the kids are old enough and we can afford it, there will be one little reef left the size of a Pinto, and one shark circling it with a bum fin and a hacking cough holding out a tin can to tourists with a sign taped to his side saying "Will pretend to look ferocious for food". Crap.

I need to go back to bed and pretend this bad mood never happened.

Here, have some joy

2006-11-29T06:14:00.000-08:00

These should brighten your day:

Star Wars Monty Python

Charlie Brown Christmas Hey Ya Style

Told you so.

Resist the Chaos, Embrace Thanksgiving

2006-11-24T16:03:00.000-08:00

I did Thanksgiving at my house this year, but only because my family would not have gotten together if I had not offered. My Mom's house is the LEAST child-friendly house around, filled floor to ceiling with antique glass doo-dads that the kids are not allowed to touch. The entire time there would be spent saying "don't touch that!", so not relaxing. My sister has a bumper sticker on her ass that says "honk if parts fall off", she has to go to doctors every week for some new ailment, this week it was the emergency room for something or other. I feel really bad for her because she is in pain all of the time and no one can figure out what it is...but Jason and I both think that it is all triggered by her brain, basically any stress she feels shows up elsewhere on her body. Finding a window of time in her pain cycle that would allow her to host Thanksgiving is damn near impossible. SO, they all came here for a vegetarian Thanksgiving.

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!!! Take that family! No more sitting around a table glorifying the carcass of a dead bird. Awesome.

Jason had to go to the hospital and check on one of the babies he just delivered so he could not help as much as I had anticipated, but on the flip side he did not have to leave in the middle of the meal to catch a baby! All was in readiness till my sister called and said she would be late. On this base if you have more than 4 people coming you have to fill out paperwork 48 hours in advance and they all have to come on at the same time. Mom mother is always early and had been sitting at the gate for a half hour by the time my sister arrived. The pissy moods were in place before they even got to my house. I was in the kitchen in my underwear cutting greenbeans when my sister called to say she was at the gate. Just then my neighbor, her newborn baby and her husband show up to beg Jason for medical advice. They had been to the emergency room here on base and were still uphappy with the advice they were given (with good reason, what quack tells a parent to give a newborn baby a popsicle for dehydration?) So I am in my underwear and need to run upstairs to get pants on to pick up my family, but have to get by my neighbor's with their newborn baby medical crisis. Already it is a perfect American family moment, so Norman Rockwell. Can you envision the painting?

I tell Jason to have them move their car so I can pull out of the driveway and use that opportunity to dash upstairs. Dressed, I give my friend a reassuring kiss and hug before I zip out to the gate. I make the decision then in there while driving to the gate that I am in control of how I react to the chaos, and I set the tone for how others will react. Calm. Breathe.

I hug everyone and say all is forgotten, let's start over. I didn't let my sister's request to take holiday photos of the kids tweak my mood, nor the mix up of who would bring the wine. I delegated. I was a queen upon my throne. "You go get more wine. You there, take drink orders. Dad move that over there. Mom taste this." I finally fealt the authority to tell others what needed to be done instead of taking it all on myself and freaking out, such a rookie mistake. Delegating rocks.

My crafty idea of cutting placemats out of brown paper bags and having everyone draw what they are thankful for worked out well. We all switched placemats at stood in a circle to read eath other's out loud. Everyone had fun with that. Connor got to sit at a table with his older cousins while Alanna roamed about taking bites here and there. My family actually had a good time...TOGETHER. My brother-in-law loved Tofurkey and even had seconds.

My dessert did not go as planned, but that happens when you make your own recipe sometimes. The thought was to have a pumpkin/cool whip/vanilla pudding topping, graham cracker crust and chocolate in the middle. Sounds yummy right? Just don't use 2 whole bags of melted chocolate chips in the middle. DUH! We needed an ice pick almost to cut through that. It was easier to pick it up and eat it like a pizza because the chocolate was so hard. It tasted good, but next time I wil put fudge in the middle.

At the end I got a huge surprise, my sister gave me a card saying how sorry she was for treating my like crap my whole life! She realizes that even though she never appreciated me, that other people like me and she is glad that I have found acceptance elsewhere since it was never offered at home. Hmm, yea the large chip on my shoulder has whittled away a lot since I have limited my contact with my family.

Realizing that she has been a horrible mega-bitch to me my whole life is a start, treating me like I am a person is another thing. What a Thanksgiving miracle: my family ate Tofurkey and had fun, and my sister apologized for 3 decades of torment.By the way the baby went to a better ER and is ok now.

Somewhere out there an angel just got it's wings.

Tune in next time for a full report on our weekend with T A M O R A P I E R C E !!

This Story Just Changed My Life

2006-11-14T10:29:00.000-08:00

I had heard about this situation in Oprah, but did not realize the scale on which this violence is perpetrated. Read this article. It will change you, and if it dosn't then nothing will. There is something really wrong with this world when violence isn't violent enough anymore. I want to hole up on a piece of land far from the atrocities of man and protect my children from the evil in this world, but the world needs every fighter for justice it can muster.

There are so many horrible things happening in the world today that it makes you wonder what is wrong with humanity? Are we really the end product of millions of years of evolution? Are modern socities really the offspring of man's history? What have we learned in the last few thousand years of civilization? Have we learned anything? I read this article and feel dispair that we are all doomed, but that is when I have to pick myself up by my bootstraps and realize that if I don't fight the problems now, I am leaving it an even bigger mess for my children. The polar ice caps are melting, heating up the oceans and making the water more acidic, killing coral reefs in droves. The Middle East is heating up to a fiery level that is threatening to drag the whole world into another war. I see the abulances make their way from the flight line on their way to Walter Reed Army Hospital, filled with young boys missing limbs. I see the women and children in my neighborhood, on my block and at my dinner table missing theri loved ones in Iraq. WTF world? Have we not learned anything?

I have to commit myself to action, I am not ready to face my children when they ask me why the world is in such sad shape and tell them with a shrug "I am only one person, what could I do?" That is not what I want to teach them.

For now, I have decided that 5% of the profits from my new business will go to Heal Africa, what could be more fitting than women using their own sexual liberation to help heal victims of sexual abuse?

How else can we act globally to create the most change? Ideas. Discuss.

Tamora Pierce So Totally Rocks

2006-11-12T19:23:00.000-08:00

You know I love this author. You know I do. I have loved her since 1985, and still read her books. I named my daughter after the main characted in he first series, then made her the official Fairy Godmother of my daughter (she has since adopted both of them as Fairy Godmother). Do you know what she did? CAN YOU EVEN FRICKING GUESS?

No, you can't. It will hurt your head, you can't even imagine.

She named a street in her new book after me. AHHHHHHH!!! Fangirlgasm!

If you know my last name, take a look at ANY bookstore at her book (probably in the young adult section)"Terrier", about 3 pages in there is a map of the city detailing the street names. The main street is my last name! AHHH! My last name comes from my husband and is Finnish in origin...completely out of place in a book set in medeival England. The street is mentioned over and over in the book, I get goosebumps everytime I see it again. Tee hee! She did change one letter of my last name but it does not change the sound of it, I can see why she did it for legal reasons...I mean she didn't tell me she was going to do it. What if I was pissed? I am thrilled of course. I saw her October 30th at a book signing with the kids and she didn't even tell me, not that she had a chance to I guess because the kids got unruly and I had to leave early.

I dressed Alanna up like the character she is named for, so she was dressed as a knight with red hair. Her Little Mermaid wig was priceless with the knight outfit. Connor was also dressed as a knight to be in the spirit of things. As soon as she came to the podium the kids rushed to hug her! It was so cute. Then she told the whole audience that "These are my Fairy Godchildren". Alanna kept going up to her during the book reading and hugging her leg. She has not even seen this woman since she was 4 months old, so there has to just be some natural chemistry. Tamora Pierce even held her on her hip for a while during the question and answer session. But it was an hour past their bedtime and with daylight savings that was like 2 hours past...with Halloween the next day, so we had to go.

Imagine my shock as 2 weeks later I sink down into a hot bath, crack open my new book and freak out 30 seconds later as I see my name on the map.

I just got an e-mail back from her. She was happy that I liked it so much. Man I can't wait to see her again at the sci-fi convention this month.

If you didn't know already, Tamora Pierce rocks!

OOPS! I forgot to share this with you.

2006-11-07T16:46:00.000-08:00

Happy belated Halloween

I used 2 photos for Alanna to get a good smile and a good pose. It was hard to make the mermaid fins look see through, I should have thought of that before I took the pictures. Connor's picture is 2 photos too with his feet Photoshopped to look like he was swimming. The background is 2 photos as well. Enjoy my masterpiece.

Part of the new me

2006-11-07T16:28:00.000-08:00

It is not official yet, but I am going to become a Passion Parties Rep! I won't have to sell stuff on eBay all of the time to pay for family vacations...allegedly. Everyone I have told so far says it totally fits my personality. Hmmm, "dildo saleswoman", there's one my parents never saw coming as they dropped me off at college!

The details should be worked out completely in like a week or so. I only really want to do 2 or 3 shows a month. I don't have time for much more. The lady who is going to train me works right here on base! She makes more from doing the parties than she does from the Air Force. Ha! Kind of funny when you think about it.

Anywhooooo check this out, it is old style cool. This kid is fricking talented. If I was a teenaged girl near him, he would SO be my boyfriend.

What's the deal with me grooving on some cute nerdy-cool kid? I am like some old perv. Is this what it is like to be an old dude checking out young girls and drooling? I mean, when it is Leo Decaprio in "Titanic", we all fell in lust. If you are cool, you totally fell for Ewan Mcgregor in "Moulin Rouge", that is very acceptable, but now that I am almost 31 (and married), it is not cool to check out teenaged guys. *sigh* At least I can sell dildos. LOL!

Personal Triumph

2006-11-02T07:55:00.000-08:00

I have lost 15 lbs!!! I am one pants size smaller and my bras are too big now (YEA!).
Everyone wants to know how I am doing it, so I will share what I am doing.

Nothing Earthshattering. That's the key. Every other time I have tried to lose weight I went on a strict plan and then despaired when I fell off the wagon, so I stopped doing that. I looked at myself and tried to work with who I am. Who am I?

I am not the kind of person to wake up early in the morning to exercise before everyone else is awake. It is not going to happen that way, so I won't keep beating myself up for it.

I cannot keep to a regular exercise program. How many times in the past did I beat myself up for failing to exercise on a specific day and then just give up?

I need to take care of myself. I can take care of my family and have more mental energy when I have eaten a well-balanced meal and gotten exercise too. My kids can wait an extra few minutes while I prepare a salad for myself, it won't kill them. In fact, free playtime is encouraged according to Parents Magazine. Same goes for taking my walks, MOMMY NEEDS IT. The kids will deal damnit. I got Connor an FP3 player with stories and music that he can only use during walks. It shuts him up, keeps him happy and keeps Mommy happy too.

I read once that we shouldn't have kids just to drop everything we do and let our lives revolve around them, kids should fit into our lives. It makes sense. With all of the propaganda out there, we are supposed to spend 24 hours a day making the perfect meals, arranging the perfect playdates, constructing the perfect crafts, teaching them calculus at age 3. Give me a break! That will lead to a bunch of self-centered brats who think that the world DOES revolve around them. Making time to take a shower each day, blow dry my hair and eat some protein combined with whole grains and fiber in the morning has improved my mood so much, and it shows 100% in how I deal with my kids. I have the emotional energy to fill them up with love and give them my all! Forcing myself to get them in the double stroller and walk even when Connor balks at the idea eventually leads to a happier family. We make a deal that if Mommy gets to exercise, Connor gets to exercise too. Right after my walk Connor gets to play with his friends down the street and ride his 3 wheeler. Wow, we are all getting healthier!

In a nutshell, here is what is different about my life now:
I try to eat a semi-South Beach diet (phase 2)in that I make sure whatever I eat combines protein, fiber and whole grains. In the morning that is 1 of 4 meals: peanutbutter toast on wholegrain bread, Smart Start cereal with soy milk, a microwaved Amy's cheese burrito (beans, rice, cheese on whole grain tortilla, or scrambled eggs with 1 slice of toast and fruit. Lunch is either a microwaved spinach quiche, a sandwich or a salad with a chopped up veggie chik pattie in it. At dinner time I eat a big salad before I eat my entree, I eat less of whatever I made for dinner, and actually feel full faster.

I have given up drinking soda. I will not have another soda till next September, then it will be 1 full year. Number one, that sugar puts you on a bloodsugar spiral that sends your eating out of control. The constant energy rush, then crash, then hunger for sugary or salty foods and carbs makes you a slave to the demands of the soda gods. Hmm, so no sugar rush, no cravings. Nice. Number two, the carbonation is soda does make you excrete calcium, not as much as people once thought...but any amount is a bad amount since I have only 8 years left to work on my bone health before I reach 40. Apparently having healthy bones before age 40 decreases the osteoporosis risk. Number 3, just cutting out those few sodas a week decreases my calorie intake and makes me replace it with something better for me, like water. Number four, I drink coffee without adding the calorie laden stuff into it for the energy rush and have no bloodsugar crash later on.

I aim just to do SOMETHING each week. If I walk once, great! If I do a workout tape once, great! There are no set rules, and no guilt. Sometimes life is hectic and I can't get ANY cardio for a week and a half, some weeks I get over 4 hours of cardio! I do what I can, and feel great while I do it. Anything is better than nothing, but having no wagon to fall off of is priceless. Stop the bandwagons, then you never fall off.

Buying my ipod shuffle makes me look forward to my walks, it kicks ass, does not get in my way like the cd walkman did, never skips, and sounds awesome!

I bought 2 long rectangular dry erase boards to hang on either side of my calendar to keep me organized. One is a to do list on top, and a motivational message of the week at the bottom. The other side is a meal list at the top and a weigh in amount on the bottom. I am keeping my focus IN FOCUS all day long. My message right now actually relates to dealing with Connor, not weight but it is still good, it calms me. "Yelling is violence, violence perpetuates violence." It is so true, eliminating all yelling makes this house full of positive energy and makes Connor behave better. Well DUH! When you yell at someone you spew anger, they react back with anger. Hmm, that explains a lot about my childhood, but I digress. Keeping my tone soft allows me to show my love for Connor, and it allows him to learn to behave peacefully. Model what you want them to exhibit!

Did I pig out on Halloween candy? Yes, but then I gave it all away to the hospital staff the next day. Did I have a night out with my friends drinking too much wine and being so completely obnoxious that they never want to speak to me again? Well yes, but I am working on my issues. Still have some work to do. They key is to balance it, when you go hog wild one day, go sparingly the next day.

I am looking at this as I life process not a quick fix. I will take steps backward because I am human, but I won't stop trying. Try, try, try, try, bag of Doritos, try again, try, try, try, try!

You Can't Look at These Without Smiling!

2006-10-28T18:52:00.000-07:00

And these are not even their Halloween costumes, they are...just because...costumes.
They had a great time at the Ren Fest. Woohoo!

Just Too Much To Handle

2006-10-24T15:52:00.000-07:00

No I have not been ignoring you, I have simply been crazed...but then aren't we all?

My husband has been dealing with an untimely patient death (nothing to do with him)that may be the result of nature, or not. Anyone who thinks doctors are not affected by what happens to their patients is on crack. This is a small community and everyone is hit hard by tragedy. I really can't go into specifics, but suffice it to say everyone around here is sad and freaked out, especially all of the doctors at the hospital.

I am dealing with notes sent home from pre-school about Connor hitting, kicking and not listening to teachers. Part of the problem at first was an ear infection that would not go away with regular medication. We finally got that taken care of and he was good for a week, but today he had an outburst that almost had him sent home for the day. By the time I got there, Connor was remorseful and was allowed to go back into class...but hitting a kid over the head with a medical kit because the kid put a strainer on his own head and looked silly...UM,NO. Not acceptable. Then he tried to kick his teacher and told both the teacher and the pre-school director that he didn't like them.

We have been working on immediate rewards for good behavior, eliminating ALL yelling at home, showing as much love as humanly possible, consequences for bad behavior...nothing can overcome the fact that I was the same way as a pre-schooler. Both Jason and I are prone to keeping a very even temperment and then flying off the handle, we try not to show this as a model of behavior, but I think that even if Connor was raised by the most saintly of saints he would be this way, to some degree it is just in the genes. We have thought about just pulling him out of pre-school alltogether, but does that really solve the problem? Nope, just delays it till the next time we try. On Thursday we are going to try using a rewards chart that he will use 7 days a week so that he knows that his parents and teachers expect the same behavior, modeling some positive frustration behavior, and having him scribble in a quiet place to release his frustration.

If this does not work, I will go to class with him a few times. Beyond that I am thinking of taking him to a child psychologist. He is a happy healthy 3 year-old, but one who might get kicked out of pre-school and more beyond that one day if we don't teach him some positive ways to deal with his anger. He'll end up living in a van down by the river. Man, I miss Chris Farley.

Beyond all of this....................

I am throwing a Passion Party. I have never been to one, but hear they are a lot of fun. One lady I know volunteered to have it at her house since her husband is deployed for 6 months and she has no kids, as long as I invite everyone and get the Passion Party lady there. Should be fun. It sure does "Out" all of the prudes though. Like I thought this was a liberal community anyway, NOT. It is just funny to see how many people have issues about dealing openly about sex, but that's America right? We broadcast violence and death on TV shows for our kids to see so that they become immune to it, but Janet Jackson's nipple during the SuperBowl was a huge moral outrage in this country. Here's a secret the religious right does not want you to know: everyone has nipples, genitals too. OOPS! So keep your frigidity in the closet, and keep making your children ashamed of their own bodies. Anyway, what was I talking about before the RANT began?

Here is where you get to help. Give me some good anger management approaches for a 3 year-old. I have some books, and more are on the way but I need help now!

Finally a diagnosis for what all moms suffer

2006-10-05T15:54:00.000-07:00

(from an e-mail)

If you have been secretly wondering what is wrong with me, I now have the answer...

Recently, I was diagnosed with C. A. A. D. D. (Child Activated Attention Deficit Disorder) This is how it manifests:

I decide to do the laundry. As I start toward the basement, I notice that there are cheerios all over the floor and my car keys are in the cereal bowl. I decide to pick up the cheerios before I do the laundry. I lay my car keys down on the counter, put the cheerios in the trash can under the counter, and notice that the trash can is full. So, I decide to take out the trash.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash I may as well pay the bills first. I take my checkbook off the table,
and see that there is only one check left, my extra checks are in my desk in the office/playroom, so I go to my desk where I find a sippy cup full of juice. I'm going to look for my checks, but first I decide I should put the sippy cup in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the sippy cup a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye - they need to be watered. I set the sippy cup on the counter, and I discover baby wipes that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back in the bathroom, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the wipes back down and splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor. So, I get some paper towels and wipe up the spill.

Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day: the laundry isn't washed, the bills aren't paid, there is a warm cup of juice sitting on the counter, the flowers aren't watered,
there is still only one check in my checkbook, I can't find the wipes, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

And now for something completely different...

2006-10-03T16:53:00.000-07:00

Spread the word. My entire Beanie Baby collection is going to poor children in Iraq, it is the nicest way to try to make the best of this situation. Sorry about your country in turmoil, here are some toys. At least it is a start.

Support the troops too! Send a care package directly to a soldier in the field. They need basic stuff and to know that we still care about them back here in the states. Make that "support the troops" bumper sticker count for something!

Grief

2006-10-03T16:26:00.000-07:00

I know the title of this blog is about Joy, so I promise I will post good things soon ok? I just have to get this off of my chest.

The day started with Connor's oldest fish dying. Not a good sign. Then the details about the complete sicko who killed the Amish kids comes out. Planned down to the two tubes of KY jelly. Fricking lunatic, sick bastard. Just hits me in the gut. Then I see my neighbor who has had a really ouchy child delivery last week, and it is worse than I imagined.

I see the look of intense pain and trauma in her eyes as she talks to me. She almost got a blood transfusion yesterday, that after her 4th degree tear...tearing all the way down to the rectum and more folks...last Monday. She had a really awful delivery after over 3 hours of pushing the baby literally exploded out of her. The baby also had the cord wrapped around her neck and there is some worry of possible future damage to the baby.

All of that took me back to that place in my mind where I store the experience of Connor's birth. I am right back to the intense pain of the vaginal hematoma, the awful pushing for over 3 hours...the horror of finding all of Connor's congenital differences, the snatching of my baby away from me and not knowing whether he would live or die. Yea, it all came to the surface again.

I wrote my neighbor a 2 page letter telling her about my experience and what she might go through. I kept asking myself what I would have wanted to hear when Jason and I were in that long dark tunnel of shock for the first month. Just to know that we were not alone in our feelings, and to understand what we were feeling would have been nice. I told her about grieving for the birth experience that she hoped to have, she needed to mourn it. I told her about the 5 stages of grief and how it was ok if she did not yet have boundless love for her newborn, that it would come in time...after her body started to heal. When you are in severe pain and going through the mental trauma of a nasty birth experience, you can barely function, let alone bond with your baby. It took me months to bond with Connor. Having another mom acknowledge this is important. TLC's "A Baby Story" gives you the wrong idea about birth, a lot of births are really traumatic.

So after all of this Jason comes home and tells me that he had to tell a lady 6 weeks pregnant that her fetus was not viable...no living baby in the gestational sack. Uh, too much trauma.

Hug your children, it is a miracle that they are here and alive.

Revised

2006-09-29T08:31:00.000-07:00

Be kind whenever possible...It is always possible...except when you have a 3 year-old, then just go insane.

Thought for the Day

2006-09-28T11:32:00.000-07:00

Be kind whenever possible...It is always possible.
-The Dalai Lama

Getting Back To Normal (whatever that is)

2006-09-20T18:15:00.000-07:00

Thanks for the kind words gals and guy. I feel a bit more closure after watching the memorial service last night, it really helped.

Poor Connor, he is confused about Steve Irwin. "But Mommy he is not died, he is on the TV now! He's all better!"

In other news: Connor has been enjoying pre-school, he is now in his 3rd week. I LOVE pre-school, we get an early start to the day, I get to run errands and spend time with my baby girl, Connor has a good time and actually is happy to see me when I pick him up! Woohoo! He eats lunch there with the optional "lunch bunch" program so that is yet an additional hour and a half that I have to get things done. Sometimes he eats his lunch, sometimes he has to finish it when he gets home, the "Mommy Mommy I love you!" when I pick him up is so worth it.

Alanna is walking! She is walking and falling and walking some more. She enjoys frustrating me by pulling out her earrings and chucking them. We have gone through 4 pairs in the last few weeks. I just ordered some screw back earrings with a rounded back so they don't poke her. I hope they work!

I have been exercising regularly now for a month, pushing that double stroller all over base with my ipod at full blast to drown out Connor's yammering. Alanna thinks this is a great time to throw toys and her hat out of the stroller and make me backtrack all over the place. Oh to have a 14 month-old. I rememeber being frustrated with Connor over the same things...now I just have new frustrations appropriate for a three year old: "Connor stop hitting your sister", Connor stop pushing your sister", Connor stop kicking your sister", Connor stop throwing the ball at your sister", Connor stop licking your sister"...and on and on...I guess life IS back to normal.

Crossroads

2006-09-12T08:30:00.000-07:00

I feel like I am at the crossroads in my belief system. I have been a PETA supporter since I was 15 and have gone through several stages of activism. I am pretty laid back about it now, I don't preach to anyone unless they ask me about something. I don't wear my activism on my sleeve, I am too busy with the rest of my life. I really think that the best way to make other people change their habits for the better is to be a good role model. If they see that I can live a life without meat, leather and stuff and still be happy, then I am doing my job. I am not perfect in any sense of the word, but I do make an effort to make sure that my daily life choices reflect my innermost beliefs. Sometimes I totally fail and I suck. I am human.

That being said, I really am unsure about the best way to keep public awareness of compassion for animals strong and alive in the minds of the next generation. PETA takes the absolute stance that no animal should ever be in any spotlight:zoos, circuses, TV shows of any sort...I just don't know if I believe that. If we don't show people why they should care, they won't care. It is idealistic to think that all animals should be left in their own habitat at peace. Yes, we should! But the biggest threat that most endangered animals face is from human encroachment! So how do we stop this? We have to make the public care enough to want to save the animals and preserve their habitats. PETA seems to think that they can say "keep animals out of entertainment and they will all live happily ever after in thier forest homes", but that is not the real world.

Being a parent I see that having some animals serve as ambassadors sparks an interest in my children that I hope will never be extinguished. But the gray area comes on a case by case basis. Yes I would take my kids to Australia Zoo, from what I know they are working hard to save animals and promote conservation. No I would never take my kids to The National Zoo here in DC because of how many animals they have killed through mismanagement. No I would never take my children to a circus that featured animals, unless it would be to protest on the corner. Making elephants dance for our amusement can NEVER be justified.

I made the decision after much contemplation (and phone calls to whale specialists)to take Connor to SeaWorld this past April. I don't know if I would do it again. I was assured that they no longer take animals from the wild and that they are the best of the best when it comes to animal care, but to go and see a killer whale perform tricks is really sad in a way, much like the circus.

After I saw how PETA attacked Steve Irwin in the media yesterday I went right to the source and e-mailed Dan Mathews from PETA, the guy in the interview. It just so happens that I worked for him in his office at PETA when I was an intern there. After 3 rounds of e-mails with him begging him to to take a different approach, I came away from it feeling disheartened. I urged him to make statements like "while we didn't always agree with his tactics, his passion for animals was always clear" or even just a "no comment" but he wouldn't budge. I told him how sad it was that the animal rights movement is attacking members within the movement...dead ones at at that...instead of working to bring the grieving Irwin fans into the PETA fold. The MSNBC article COULD have been about "Hey if you liked the Crocodile Hunter come learn about what you can do to save animals", turning this percieved negative into a positive. This just disheartens me. For the first time I was really ashamed for my group. I will write to Ingrid Newkirk, the boss of PETA who I have met several times and let her know that I am saddened by the needless negativity they are generating.

Dan Mathews incidentally is like the main media dude who gets PETA's name in the papers and gets celebrities to endorse PETA. Before I met Jason I wanted to go and work for him. There goes my hero, crashing and burning.

Wow, I no longer walk the PETA party line. What am I now, a moderate? Am I not a left-winged tree hugger anymore? I am a mom, and a free-thinker. Long live the free-thinkers, there are so few of us in this world.

Quote of the Day

2006-09-08T18:54:00.000-07:00

At the end of the day, argued Lawrence Downes in a New York Times appreciation, it was easy to parody Irwin's boisterous shtick. But "future environmentalists and conservationists have to come from somewhere, and if the energetic wonderment of the Crocodile Hunter has seeped into the brains of significant numbers of children - as it did that of Sean, who went trick-or-treating as Mr Irwin last year, who turned six with a crocodile cake, who wears khaki and boots and fills notebooks with meticulous drawings of reptiles - then Mr Irwin used his 44 years remarkably well.

From an article at The Age

No, I'm not any better yet. Thanks for asking.

Closure for One Croc Hunter Fan

2006-09-06T12:03:00.000-07:00

I know, I know...he's just a guy on tv. But he was more than just a guy on tv, if you had ever read his website he posted all sorts of stuff on his conservation efforts. Had used his money to set aside pristine wilderness in many different countries to protect endangered species. He funded all sorts of efforts with the World Wildlife Fund to protect Tigers and Cheetahs from poachers. This man lived and breathed for animals. He put his money where his mouth was. He did more in his 44 years to make a difference in this world than 99.9% of us will. Sure his tactics were different, and he wore his heart on his sleeve. He got our attention and made us care about animals we normally wouldn't even want to see on tv.

For me Steve Irwin was the dictionary definition of the word passionate, to think of him as gone from this world is just so impossible. He was larger than life.

I had to get my feelings out, so I wrote a letter to Steve and a letter to Terri and her kids. The next thing I knew I was taking a picture of my kids holding a sign that says "Crocs Rule". I basically did a scrapbook page when I was done. I read about how the garden in front of The Discovery Channel's headquaters (1/2 hour away)was going to be renamed in honor of Steve Irwin, so I took the kids there this morning for a picnic. I left my dedication to him next to the sign for the garden. Connor wanted to tell every Discovery Channel employee "Crocs Rule", he had a blast. The people walking by had smiles for him. In our own small way, we were trying to carry on Steve's passion.

So I will never get to meet Steve Irwin like I had planned to one day, that really makes me sad. However, we WILL travel to Australia and swim the Great Barrier Reef when both kids are scuba certified. Hopefully we'll meet the Irwin family.

In Memoriam

2006-09-04T08:32:00.000-07:00

I am shocked, I am saddened. I am crying. I feel like a close member of my family has died.

We watch The Crocodile Hunter every night as we eat dinner. We have made plans to go to Australia to meet Steve Irwin and swim the Great Barrier Reef. I watched his lousy movie. I watched Croc Hunter marathons. I sent a fan e-mail to him once. I cried like a baby when I saw the episode about his dog dying.

It is so unfair. He was only 44 and had so much to give to the world. He was SO passionate about wildlife, even though he ran a zoo. He changed people's minds about crocodiles and made us care. He changed the face of animal tv because he was fun to watch.

Please tell me this is not true.

My family will miss you Steve Irwin. To have this much of an impact on us without ever even meeting us is quite an accomplishment. God bless you Terri, Bindi Sue and Bob.

Thar She Blows

2006-08-20T18:18:00.000-07:00

Yep, we saw whales, lots of them in fact! Stellwagen Bank has been having an amazing season and this was no exception. The weather was perfect, the sky was a bright blue with big puffy clouds and the visability was great for spotting whales. The problem the scientists from the Whale Center of New England seemed to have was picking which whales to visit!

Connor alternated between really excited to see the whales and really annoyed that he wasn't allowed to roam the boat freely. He IS three and DOES have the attention span of a gnat sometimes, but all in all he had a great time.

Alanna pretty much hated it the first day, was better the second day though. By the end of the second trip she was waving to the whales that came near the ship.

Gloucester, MA is a really cute little town and we loved every minute of it. They had great italian food, fun places to visit and yummy ice cream.

Driving from MD to MA with a 1 year-old who hates being in the car was not so fun. We found out the Benydryl has the opposite effect on her that is does with Connor, and that having a baby with a poppy diaper in heavy traffic in New York City just sucks ass.

But she is still pretty danged cute though! Here is a picture of her at Fort Stage Park.

We visited Julee and her family out in the middle of no where at Mcguire AFB in New Jersey, that gave us a nice break before getting home at 1:30 in the morning. We really like Julee and family and hope to see them again before we move from Andrews next year!

How to Afford a Whale Trip

2006-08-14T12:03:00.000-07:00

Sell baby items at our yard sale: $200
Sell more baby items at a flea market: $100
Sell even more baby items and stuff on Ebay: $600
Save money from birthday checks: $175
Save money from paychecks: $400
Cash in that jar of change on the dresser $40

= Just over $1,500 for whale watching

I am amazed. I really thought for a while that we would not be able to pull this off. See what one determined mother can do? Woohoo!

See you guys next week.

Weaning onto Coffee

2006-08-13T10:56:00.000-07:00

I really don't like coffee, I admit it. I LOVE a cold coke. I don't like the sugar in coke, but I have found that caffeine makes my life a better place to live. I have tried to wean myself onto coffee, to rid myself of my soda habit for good. I started with those little Starbucks frappachino drinks you can buy in any grocery store. Yes, still high sugar but with some protein and calcium at least. The caffeine buzz seems better than the soda buzz and without the sugar crash that comes a half hour later. I thought I was ready for a trip to Starbucks. I was wrong.

I tried some iced espresso AND some iced coffee. I think the problem was they made it with the bold sumatra coffee. It tasted like dirty cigar butts. I was about to hurl. Jason did his best to mix in splenda and cinnamon, but it was so gross. I guess it was the equivalent of someone trying to eat spicy food, getting used to mild Pace salsa, and then having freshly made habanero salsa. I held my nose closed and sipped it down. I am a coffee weanie.

Jason suggested that I should pop a vivrin or two, but the stigma of it just isn't cool. If you tell people you had a cup of black coffee, they don't bat an eyelash, but if you tell them you took a caffeine pill or two they look at you as if you have a problem, the irony is they could have the same amount of caffeine. Anyway, I am thinking that I am going about this all wrong. Maybe I never will like coffee and I should just chill some black coffee, gulp it down holding my nose and do a water chaser. No milk or sugar has to add calories to it, I get the caffeine I want, and my teeth get the least amount of staining from the putrid stuff.

Sounds silly I know, but here is why I am so determined: when I drink some caffeine right before I exercise, I get twice the workout. Kick Ass! Maybe my new caffeine habit will help me get rid of all this danged baby weight! Woohoo, life will be better and WORLD PEACE will somehow emerge! All the little children of the world will come together in peace and harmony, holding hands and chugging a coffee. Humans will transcend their violent ways and a new era of enlightenment will come to pass. That or I will have a rock hard butt. Either one.

Liberal in the Military

2006-08-11T16:04:00.000-07:00

So the game is over, people have found out that a liberal tree hugger is in the military. Boy, I can see the SPs coming to my door to take me away now. Oh crap!

I am now a target for the Fox News stay home moms! Cool. Come here and watch the flame wars that have started for no apparent reason. Hey what blog do I have to thank for directing all of this lovely hate mail?

Life in the Military

2006-08-11T09:53:00.000-07:00

It's ironic that I got attacked about my last post when just today I was thinking about how cool it is to live on an Air Force base. I took my hour long walk pushing the double stroller and passed the flight line. How cool is it that I get to walk past Air Force One or Air Force Two on my daily route? We wave to the helicopters that buzz past every few minutes, and sometimes walk past the lodging where important dignitaries stay overnight. You can tell when someone high-powered is staying there because they have these cool signs that say "restricted area, deadly force is authorized". Apparently women in jogging pants pushing strollers are no threat though. All sorts of high-powered people are within blocks of my house all the time. Tony Blair came through here, as did that Japanese leader a few weeks ago.

There are some aspects of military life that are really cool. People on base are for the most part very courteous and open doors for me, actually stop at crosswalks and smile when they go past me even if I don't know them. It is so 1950's compared to the ghetto right off base.

I think that the main point I was trying to get across in my last post was that having a military theme park would serve to trivialize what our men and women do. War is not a game. It is not a ride. It is not fun. I don't think about how cool all the high-tech gear might be when I go to Walter Reed for Connor's appointments, I am distraught by how these fresh-faced teenagers without legs or arms are going to make it in this world. I am haunted by the ID picture I saw when we were in the physical therapy room, it was taken when the man was in a coma and still had a breathing tube down his throat. I am worried for my two good friends on base whose husbands are going to Iraq for 6 months. I don't want them to be trivialized. That's not anti-military, that's patriotic. Don't make light of what is serious.

Moot point anyway. The Army has rejected the idea. End of story.

My Life...as a theme park ride?

2006-08-08T17:35:00.000-07:00

FORT BELVOIR, Virginia (AP)--The U.S. Army is considering a proposal to allow a private developer to build a military theme park that would include "4D" rides and bars including a "1st Division Lounge."
Military officials said a massive entertainment and hotel complex built next to a national Army museum could draw more than 1 million people a year. But authorities in Fairfax County, Virginia, are objecting because of already traffic-clogged roads surrounding the proposed site.
Universal City Property Management III, of Orlando, Florida, submitted the unsolicited proposal for the theme park last year.
"You can command the latest M-1 tank, feel the rush of a paratrooper freefall, fly a Cobra Gunship or defend your B-17 as a waist gunner," according to the proposal, which was obtained by The Washington Post.
County officials have no authority over the Army's decision because the site is federal property. County Supervisor T. Dana Kauffman said he thought the entertainment concept died last year and said he had no interest in turning a military museum into "Disney on Rolling Road."
But the Army notified the county last week it is planning to move the military museum from Fort Belvoir to a site a few miles away that would be large enough for the entertainment complex.
The Washington Post reported that the Army is considering the entertainment venue to help offset the cost of the $300 million museum, which a spokesman said is scheduled to open in 2013.

Ironically Jason's residency is being done away with in a few years and is moving to Ft. Belvoir. Um, so I know recruiting is WAY down and that you are now taking in complete pyschos who rape and kill little girls (and their families), so this is your new plan to make the Army look cool.

How about a ride where you get to be a spouse and not know if your husband is alive or dead over there? How about a ride where you get to see all of the teen solidiers with missing limbs at Walter Reed Hospital? How about a ride where YOU get to be blown up by insurgents. I'm just saying that the lives of those who serve, and the people that support them are not at all like Disney World. You know? It's just a wierd thought.

Snakes on a Motherf**ing Plane!

2006-08-07T17:28:00.000-07:00

This is the funniest and coolest movie promotion ever! Warning, this is seriously addictive. Have Samuel L. Jackson call or send an e-mail voice thingy to your friends, and personalize it for the movie "Snakes on a Plane"

SOOO Funny!

AHHHH! I'm like freaking out!

2006-08-01T17:23:00.000-07:00

A dog lover's nightmare! I can't even find anything on Peta.com yet to protest this!

Read this:

SHANGHAI, China - China slaughtered 50,000 dogs in a government-ordered crackdown after three people died of rabies, sparking unusually pointed criticism in state media Tuesday and an outcry from animal rights activists.

Health experts said the brutal policy pointed to deep weaknesses in the health care infrastructure in China, where only 3 percent of dogs are vaccinated against rabies and more than 2,000 people die of the disease each year.

The five-day slaughter in Mouding county in Yunnan province in southwestern China ended Sunday and spared only military guard dogs and police canine units, state media reported.

Dogs being walked were seized from their owners and beaten to death on the spot, the Shanghai Daily newspaper reported. Led by the county police chief, killing teams entered villages at night creating noise to get dogs barking, then beat the animals to death, the reports said.

Owners were offered 63 cents per animal to kill their own dogs before the teams were sent in, they said.

The killings were widely discussed on the Internet, with both legal scholars and animal rights activists criticizing them as crude and cold-blooded. The World Health Organization said more emphasis needed to be placed on rabies prevention.

Mass killings condemned
The official newspaper Legal Daily blasted the killings as an “extraordinarily crude, cold-blooded and lazy way for the government to deal with epidemic disease.”

“Wiping out the dogs shows these government officials didn’t do their jobs right in protecting people from rabies in the first place,” the newspaper, published by the central government’s Politics and Law Committee, said in an editorial in its online edition.

In an editorial, the official Xinhua News Agency said the killings wouldn’t have been necessary if the local government had been more attentive, but called the slaughter “the only way out of a bad situation.”

“If they’d discovered this earlier, they could have vaccinated the dogs and ... controlled the outbreak,” the editorial said.

Pet activists call for boycott
The killings prompted calls for a boycott of Chinese products from the activist group People For the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

“We are urging everyone to actively boycott — not a word we use lightly — anything from China given the bludgeoning killing of thousands of dogs,” PETA President Ingrid Newkirk said.

She said the group had canceled all orders of merchandise it sells that are made in China. Will Wright, at PETA’s European office in London, said the orders were worth about $300,000.

“We believe other groups will join us in expressing outrage over the blatant cruelty to animals the world is witnessing,” Wright said.

Mouding County officials defended the slaughter in a region where about 360 of the 200,000 residents suffered dog bites this year, with three people reportedly dying of rabies, including a 4-year-old girl.

“With the aim to keep this horrible disease from people, we decided to kill the dogs,” Li Haibo, a spokesman for the county government, was quoted as saying by Xinhua.

Calls to county government offices went unanswered Tuesday. Located in mountains about 1,240 miles southwest of Shanghai, Mouding is famed for its Buddhist shrines.

A dog's life for real
Unlike in the West, where dogs have long been cherished as companions or helpmates, dogs have rarely had an easy time in China. Dog meat is eaten throughout the country, revered as a tonic in winter and a restorer of virility in men.

Following the communist seizure of power in 1949, dog ownership was condemned as a bourgeois affectation and canines were hunted as pests. Attitudes have softened in recent years, although urban Chinese are still subject to strict rules on the size of their pets and must pay steep registration fees.

About 70 percent of rural households now keep dogs, according to the Chinese Center of Disease Control and Prevention, and increased rates of dog ownership have been tied to a surge in the number of rabies cases in recent years. It said there were 2,651 reported deaths from the disease in 2004, the last year for which data was available.

Access to rabies treatment is also highly limited, especially in the countryside, said Dr. Francette Dusan, a World Health Organization expert.

Effective rabies control requires coordinated efforts between human health, animal health and municipal agencies and authorities, Dusan said.

“This has not been pursued adequately to date in China, with most control efforts consisting of purely reactive dog culls,” she said.

Link to story with picture here

They say you can judge the ethics of a culture by how they treat their animals but holy fucking crap!

I don't want anyone in China to get rabies, but this is just brutal!

Imagine walking your dog outside and police come and beat her to death...legally. All of this could have prevented with rabies shots for Pete's sake. Ahhh. I am going to have nightmares!

UPDATE: Make your objections known to

His Excellency Zhou Wenzhong
Ambassador of the People's Republic of China
Embassy of the People's Republic of China
2300 Connecticut Ave. N.W.
Washington, DC 20008
202-328-2574
202-328-2582 (fax)

Moments of JOY over the last week or so...

2006-07-26T08:55:00.000-07:00

-Breastfeeding Alanna till her first birthday like the books say to do
-Stopping breastfeeding and not looking back
-Having my boobs NOT hurt after my gradual nursing cutback
-Watching Jason give Connor his Ken Doll sized GI Joes to play with, then having Connor ask for a "Wifey" for them
-Giving Connor his first Barbie Doll so that his GI Joes can have a "Wifey" (one woman and several beefy guys, sounds like a fantasy of mine but that is a post for another kind of blog...tee hee)
-Feeling my sweets cravings start to go way now that I am not breastfeeding
-Walking for 45 minutes pushing the kids in the double stroller every day this week despite the heat!
-Watching Casablanca for the first time with Jason, all curled up on the couch with some wine (really good movie!)
-Selling $100 of our junk at a flea market. Go whales!
-Meeting a blog friend
-Freaking out as blood squirts out all over Connor only to find out that he has knocked out one of his front teeth and split his lip open (fell into his train table) - oh wait - that was not a moment of joy. Skip that.
-Seeing my husband on a regular basis now that he has a better schedule, and finding out that we still get a long really well!

New Link!

2006-07-19T20:17:00.000-07:00

Check out the new link I put on my left nav, a permanent place for Connor's story! Enjoy.

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Blog Meets Life

2006-07-18T08:31:00.000-07:00

Today is the first time I get to meet one of my blogging friends. Julee is in DC and bringing her family to my house for dinner! I'll post pics!

Here they are:

Julee with a juice box, me with wine.

Connor, Henry, Theo and Iris eating dinner together, lasted about 30 seconds before they went back to whacking each other with swords

Swords turn into guns, a snorkel is a sword, Iris is above such things

Iris plays with Holly the rat, probably not something she has done before. Iris and her Daddy, Eric also played with the ferrets and had a good time.

Connor was very sad to see them go and asked me this morning if he could play with them today

So who is coming over next? Cass? Amber? Sabrina? Actually my friends TJ and Nicole. But they were buddies in real life before we ever blogged. I am throwing them a puppy shower since they are geting their first doggy ever!

I am 1!!

2006-07-16T14:26:00.000-07:00

My name is Alanna and I am now 1! Can you believe how cute I am? Doesn't it make your teeth hurt how absolutely sweet I look. You don't believe those stories my Mom tells about me biting her boobie do you? Would I do that? How could I? I am just too cute.

My Baby Girl

2006-07-10T07:16:00.000-07:00

Can you belive this picture was taken almost one year ago?

Look at her now

This was her first time standing. She will be one year old on Saturday. Jason will be 34 on Saturday.

Wow.

Happy Weekend!

2006-07-08T15:44:00.000-07:00

We made $193 today and will be selling again tomorrow. All of the rest of the stuff I wanted to sell on eBay are not even worth it apparently. Beanie Babies from like 10 years ago are not collectors items, they are .99 rejects :(. Our 2-year old wireless modem is like a dinosaur. My collectable Barbies are worth $5. Frack. Please let me know if you have any ideas of what I can do to earn some extra money.

In the mean time, enjoy this hotdog cooker:

Need a Small Miracle

2006-07-07T06:55:00.000-07:00

We are falling short of our money goal for our whale vacation. I am trying to have a positive outlook for our yard sale tomorrow, but the truth is we have just not been able to save up any money. Life is just not stopping so that we can not spend. We have 2 birthdays this month. I need new contact lenses, things keep breaking. Crap. Our dreams are just too grand for our actual finances. We are not making doctor money yet.

I have to put on my big girl panties and realize that we cannot put anything on credit cards. We have no room! Debt is bad!

I just can't face the though of telling Connor that we can't go see whales. He talks about it everyday. I have cried and cried. I just refuse to believe it. I swear I'll sell a kidney on eBay.

I am just hoping and praying. Hoping and praying. Somehow...somehow.

We have a roof over our heads and much more. We are all reasonably healthy and happy. Life could be worse. This just means so much to our family.

Send us your positive mojo. I am trying to hold out on canceling our reservations for another week. Somehow..somehow.

Happy Birthday You Jerk

2006-07-02T17:10:00.000-07:00

George Bush turns 60 next month! Joy!

Got this from a Photoshop competition at FARK

A Few of my Favorite Things

2006-06-29T17:34:00.000-07:00

I am going to embark on a plan to make time for myself. Sounds crazy I know, but I am disorganized, saddled with two babies worth of baby fat somewhat depressed and feeling muddy headed. I figured out tonight that when I get time out of the house without the kids all of the sudden I can think more clearly and feel liberated. Well duh, if you don't find a way to re-charge yourself you have no fuel to run your life.

I bought some life-organizing tools at Target tonight and am vowing to get up at 6 AM (and not just listen to Alanna crying till she goes back to sleep, but actually get up with her)so that I can feed Alanna and get her back down for a nap (or playtime as she grows out of the morning nap) and do some excercise before Connor wakes up. Once Connor is up the whirling malestrom begins.

In honor of this decision, here are a few things that have nothing to do with my family, but make me happy:

-The kick ass base in my mini-van
-Listening to the Beastie Boys at full blast and enjoying the base in my mini-van when the kids are not around, and yes being one of those annoying people you hate when you can feel the base from their car stereos in your chest as you watch them jam in front of you at the stop light (cause I get to do it once every other month)
-Reading fantasy novels
-OPRAH
-Buying Origins facial products
-Watching back to back episodes of shows on TLC like "What Not To Wear", "While You Were Out", "Honey We're Killing The Kids" etc. and/or "Vacation Home Search" and "Amazing Vacation Homes" on the Travel Channel
-My new printer
-Swing Dancing
-Swing music
-Musicals
-Artichokes
-Potatoes
-Chocolate
-Doritoes
-Crushed grahm crackers in ice cream like Ben & Jerry's "Marsha Marsha Marshmallow"
-Oatmeal cookie dough, especially when butterscotch chips are in it
-Ben and Jerry's Oatmeal Cookie Chunk
-Killians Irish Red beer
-Celtic knots and anything Irish
-Cinnamon lube
-Not too dry somewhat fruity red wine
-Tequila
-Netflix
-Malamutes
-F L O R I D A
-Manatees
-The Florida Keys
-Snorkeling
-Snorkeling
-Snorkeling
-Red lipstick

That's all for now. Moms it is so easy for us to loose ourselves in service to our families. Let's make a pact to help each other not do that ok? Colga, Julee, Amber, Sabrina, Tiffani, Cass tell me your favorite things that have nothing to do with our family but everything to do with who YOU are!

Auctioning for Whales

2006-06-28T16:38:00.000-07:00

I am knee deep in the race to raise money for our trip to Massachusetts. I sold Connor's old Winnie the Pooh crib bedding set for $76.00 last night and Alanna's co-sleeper is up to $91.00 right now, ending in 2 hours. I have more stuff to put up this week, and a yard sale to organize for July 8th. We have to raise at least $500 and save at least $500. What an incentive! We go to Gloucester in mid-August to go whale watching for 3 days, everything is already booked. Woohoo!

It is amazing the things you will do for your children. I am reappraising everything I own for it's sale-ability so Connor can see real live humpback whales.

Why is this so important? He quizzes me everyday about which whales are baleen whales and which ones are toothed whales. Baleen: humpbacks, gray whales, blue whales, bowhead whales, right whales. Toothed: orcas, narwhals, belugas, sperm whales..Etc.

And just so you know, Alanna has 4 teeth, is very close to completely weaning herself and turns ONE YEAR OLD in 2 weeks!

The Terrible 3s

2006-06-20T10:22:00.000-07:00

I am listening to to Connor cry right now. I am so fed up with his behavior I am just beside myself. We spent 1 billion dollars re-decorating his room in a whale theme. Not an easy thing to do folks. He has a new elevated bed from Ikea with a place to play underneath, a new whale border on the walls, whale posters, whale pictures, a handmade whale comforter, matching window treatments, the works. I guess I should have known that a 3 year-old can't handle all of that, because he is 3.

He was home and watched us put the room together for him step by step. He saw the labor we put into it and was thrilled. I never thought that the border would be a problem since he had a Pooh border before, but apparently the combination of an elevated bed and a new border were just too much for him. Now at Connor's quiet time and sometimes in the morning before we get him out of his room he wreaks havoc. The first time he ripped it I just cried, then he cried at seeing me upset, then he ripped it again when I went to talk to him about it calmly. I cried again and tried to work it out with him. Rip # 3 we worked out some solutions and talked about feelings. Rip #4 I took ALL of his whales away: books, t-shirts, toys, blanket, lampshade, wall hangings, curtains...everything. I made a rewards chart for him so he could earn his whales back one by one through good behavior. Rip #5 happened the same day. Real old-fashioned spanking ensued for the first time in his life.

He was better for about a week and seemed to like earning whale dollars to get his whales back, but the past 2 days he is back at it again. We are not going to fix the border until he stops, obviously. The border is destroyed in a few places now, and at $28 a roll that makes me cry even more.

I have tried to ignore it, it dosn't stop. I have tried to talk about our feelings and problem solve, it dosn't stop. I have tried taking away his favorite possessions, it dosn't stop. I tried a rewards chart, it dosn't stop. I spanked and it stopped for a little while.

I am at my wits end. He is 3 and I just can't do anything nice for him I guess. He goes from being such a sweet boy to being a mean little troll.

Why did they say 2 was such a terrible age? Three sucks ass.

Colbert for President

2006-06-17T17:26:00.000-07:00

Stephen Colbert asking that congressman that wanted the 10 commandments displayed in courthouses to name all 10 commandments. Pah!

Too Much

2006-06-17T16:35:00.000-07:00

I know I started this blog so that I had a way to vent that wasn't taking it out on my kids, but often I find that when things get to be too much I don't even have the where-with-all to blog. Hmm.

Connor is a nut, and on top of it has a leaking ear ache, a fever and is vomiting. Alanna is so mobile now that is is driving me nuts. She crawls fast, pulls herself to standing and now climbs. She is everwhere and is doing a good job of weaning herself against my wishes. At least she could drink formula or soy milk for Pete's sake!!! Apparently Daddy hates the idea of fortifiying her through food (formula powder in her oatmeal and whatnot). It worked for Connor and he is off the charts in height.

My house is so messy, I really want to hide from it, I mean what's the point? I could spend every second of the day cleaning it and still turn around and have nothing to show for it, the beings who live here would just destroy it again. Jason said that if I were a SIMS character I would have no bars on my cleanliness meter. Screw him, his children are still alive when he comes home every so often so he can deal. I take care of 7 aquatic creatures, 2 dogs, 2 cats, 2 kids and a rat, by the end of the day I got nothing; no energy either emotional or physical. The house is just going to look like this until he one God Damned day off to help me clean it, which will be in two weeks. No I am not making that up, two weeks. Imagine working 3 weeks, mostly 12 or 14 hour shifts with no days off. At least he is not a pilot, that is my only consoling thought.

Anywhooo...thought I was not venting enough.

Watch this. It features one of my favorite all time bands doing a cool song. Frack I wish we had the technology to do this when we were kids.

Entertain your brain

2006-06-08T12:23:00.000-07:00

Really cool special effest. Give your brain something fun to do!

Click here

Save Big Bird from the chopping block!

2006-06-08T12:20:00.000-07:00

Hey this makes me really mad.The government spend millions to destroy lives and decimate the cultures of the ethnic populations they try to "liberate", now they want to take away true American culture? Public broadcasting is one of the last checks-and-balances systems left to our country. Take that away and the voice of the public will have no where to turn, the only message on the airwaves will be dictated by the billion dollar corporate media monopolies. Is that democracy?

Everyone expected House Republicans to give up efforts to kill NPR and PBS after a massive public outcry stopped them last year. But they've just voted to eliminate funding for NPR and PBS—unbelievably, starting with programs like "Sesame Street."

Public broadcasting would lose nearly a quarter of its federal funding this year. Even worse, all funding would be eliminated in two years--threatening one of the last remaining sources of watchdog journalism.

Sign the petition telling Congress to save NPR and PBS again this year:

http://civic.moveon.org/publicbroadcasting/

Last year, millions of us took action to save NPR and PBS, and Congress listened. We can do it again if enough of us sign the petition in time.

This would be the most severe cut in the history of public broadcasting. The Boston Globe reports the cuts "could force the elimination of some popular PBS and NPR programs." NPR's president expects rural public radio stations may be forced to shut down.

The House and Senate are deciding if public broadcasting will survive, and they need to hear from viewers like you. Sign the petition at:

http://civic.moveon.org/publicbroadcasting/

Thanks!

P.S. Read the Boston Globe story on the threat to NPR and PBS at:

http://www.moveon.org/r?r=1864

Addiction

2006-06-06T19:22:00.000-07:00

My dad just got the cardiac imaging done and they couldn't find the problem, or it has miraculously gone away. Stay tuned to see which one it was. I spent the day taking care of my kiddos and my sisters kids. I am beat.

But more importantly...

I just finished a book series that had 2 trilogies, so that is 6 very thick books that I loved on, ignored my kids and the dishes to spend time with, counted the hours till I could stay up all night reading, suck-my-brain goodness. The last book was 918 pages of wraping things up in amazing ways. The first series is the Farseer Trilogy by Robin Hobb. The continuation of the series is the second trilogy The Tawny Man trilogy , these books are for the serious fantasy lovers only! Very intricate plots and very deep characters. A bit violent, a bit of romance, some magic, tons of intrigue, great characters...amazing plots and page turning crack addictiveness. I totally ignored my family all day on Sunday to finish the last book. I read 300 pages that day because I could not put the book down. Jason was less than impressed.

I have an addictive personality. But here is the real secret: I had to finish up quickly because I knew that the next book in one of my ALL FRICKING TIME favorite series was going to be delivered this week. Kushiel's Scion, by Jacqueline Carey arrived today. I reade the other books in the Kushiel's line and they were amazing. I know Nicole is not as deep into fantasy as I am, she could not get into it, I accept that. But for those of you who like sex, fantasy, magic, romance, epic battles, kick-ass characters, sex, heroines that save the country, sex, romance, intrigue and did I mention sex? Well, you'll like this series.

I read all three of the Kushiel's books over and over again trying to relive the experience. I have been waiting for this book with almost as much anticipation as the birth of my daughter, but with no fear of the pain of labor. It's here. Woohoo!

I feel torn though. When you really get into a series like the last one I read, the characters stay with you for a while, I almost need a mourning period to transition for one series to another, like a sharp sorbet to cleanse my palate between courses. I also know that it will be crack cocaine rehab hard to get things done around this house if I dive into this here book sitting so innocently next to my keyboard. I'll just take a peek and then it will suck on my brain. I will be powerless. I'll make Connor breastfeed Alanna and run away with my book. Mmmmmm, yummy...BOOK.

Should I just hold it and pet it?

Who am I kidding? CHARRRRRRRGE!

My Dad

2006-06-05T16:51:00.000-07:00

I just received the Father's Day memory book I created online. It turned out pretty well, there are 76 pictures in it. They start out black and white and end at gorgeous digital pictures. Creating a memory book online is so cool. It arrived today looking pretty much the way I thought it would. I made it for him to bring to his high school's 50th reunion in July. I just pray he makes it.

My dad is going in for heart surgery tomorrow. This is the second round of it. He is not feeling very good right now and I hope this does the trick. Thinking about people performing surgery on my Dad's heart is kind of scary, I mean he's my Dad. You just take it for granted that your dad is always there no matter what.

Mow that I am in my early 30's the need to lose weight is even more important you know. I have to do it to keep my fricking heart healthy, which is the BIGGEST KILLER of women, not breast cancer. I am out of shape, over weight, and weighed down by two small children, but if I don't take care of myself I might not be here to take care of my grandkids.

My kids need to know their Grandad. Cross your fingers for him ok?

Weaning

2006-06-04T17:50:00.000-07:00

I need to wean. Alanna really does not even like breastfeeding. A baby not liking to breastfeed you say? Yes. She was only nursing for about 5 minutes at a time until I started to attach a toy to my bra strap to hold her attention. Now if there is no toy she will not nurse. Sometimes like before bed she just refuses, most kids insist on a nightime nursing session.

The problem is that she does not like formula. I have been working to get her to use a sippy cup and she likes to drink water out of it, just not formula. I am not going to do cow's milk for many reasons; included in them is my own bout of lactose intolerance as a child. Fortified soy milk is not a valid replacement for infant formula until she is older. So what do I do? Paint my boobs with chocolate to entice her till she is older?

I read so many stories of women not wanting to wean because their child loves it so much, and here I have the opposite issue. Just my luck. Most women lose weight when they breastfeed and I gain weight. Sheesh.

Any suggestions?

Still alive

2006-05-26T17:33:00.000-07:00

I am still alive. Don't call out the search parties yet. I just finished birthday party #1 for Connor with his playgroup buddies, tomorrow we assamble things from Ikea for his room and put up a new border. New bed, new bedding (WHALE!),new theme. We have so much to do my head is spinning.

My boy is getting older. Can you believe he will be 3 on Sunday?

Then I have to turn right around and put together Alanna's first birthday party.

Sunrise, sunset. I am so tired I could fall asleep at the keyboard, I can't believe I have to put on another party AND face all of my relatives at the same time! Help me Jebus.

Need a laugh?

2006-05-08T13:22:00.000-07:00

Like Harry Potter and need a laugh. Check out a band called Draco and the Malfoys

Pretty funny lyrics for those of us in the Potter in-crowd.

I'm SO Worth it!

2006-05-06T13:19:00.000-07:00

For all the ladies, in honor of Mother's Day.

My job as a stay-at-hom mom would earn me $154,000 if all of the roles I play were performed on a job outside my home. See how much you are worth.

Wacky Facts

2006-05-04T11:52:00.000-07:00

Julee had this on her site and it sounded like fun. Problem is, I am pretty abnormal to start with, so here goes.

1. The Dorito Ball. When no one is around I like to eat Doritos in weird ways. Not a crazy sounding wacky fact be keep reading. My sister and I would get a large bag of Doritoes every Friday night when we were little and had to finish it by Sunday because it WOULD be taken away, so we made a sport out of different ways to eat them: sucking the cheese off and then putting them in a bowl in the refrigerator and so on. My favorite way is to suck the cheese off, chew them up and then make a Dorito ball out of them. When I have a large ball I eat it...for the second time. I mentally thank my mom for the weird eating habits I have, she screwed up her kids so much in this area.

2. Continuing on this theme, since we had no other snack food in the house during the weekdays, my sister and I would make cake batter and eat it like pudding. My mother had no snack food because she was afraid she'd eat it all, but stocked up on boxes of cake mix like Betty Crocker was going out of business. We'd make up a batch of cake mix and eat as much as we could in one sitting, the rest we'd put in the fridge for later, next to the Doritos with the cheese sucked off of them.

3. I have problems telling time with the big hand little hand method. Yes I learned in school like everyone else, I just have a mental block when it comes to being able to read clocks like that. I have to really stare at it and count, for like 15 minutes.

4. I hate letters and numbers being together. I took Algebra 1 three separate times and still couldn't get it right. Letters and numbers need to be kept far away from each other. I hate math so much that it is painful.

5. I still sleep with a stuffed animal. No not like just on the bed, but in my arms. Bunny has been with me since 1989 and I get antsy without him in my arms.

6. I grew up in a house that had a ghost. My house was over 100 years-old anyway and creeped my out, but as I got older it got more interesting. My Dad saw the ghost a few times when I was younger and described her as a matronly lady dressed in very old-fashioned clothing. Years later a mailman who was a friend of my sister, and very well respected, asked my Dad who was the elderly woman that would stare at him from the front door while he delivered mail on the porch. There was no elderly woman in our house. The first time I brought Jason home to meet my parents was about a month into our courtship while we were at college. He was in the back bathroom working on our laundry when I bounded down the back stairs to go see him. He turned to me and said "You never told me about the ghost in your house." He saw a matronly woman with a dress from the turn of the century dress from about the waist up. She was looking at him and smiling as if she thought what he was doing was cute.

Here is the big kicker though. About five years ago the whole family was visiting my parent's house in the middle of the summer and we had a blackout. All of us including my sister's kids sat in the dark on the kitchen floor and talked. We talked about the ghost and I revealed to them that though I never saw her, I always felt her as I was going up the back stairs, and that if I was up really late I would hear a thought in my mind like "you should be in bed young lady" and there was a pressure on my back that would gently push me up the stairs. Heather stared at me in disbelief and said the same thing had happened to her for as long as she could remember. Two grown women, married and out of that house...never told each other about that common experience for fear that no one would believe us. Pretty spooky huh? My mother revealed that night that when we moved into the house she found a beautiful picture of a woman from the turn of the century in what looked to be a wedding dress. We decided it was possible that it was a picture of the ghost when she was young. Mom bought a pretty frame and hung the picture with the rest of the family photos along the front stairs. If anyone asks who she is we tell them that is our family ghost!

7. I am a HUGE Monkees fan. I was OBSESSED with them when I was 12 and have a huge pathetic history of loving them that I will not relate here. Suffice it to say my love for them was finally consumated (well in front of my husband) in 1997 when I finally saw them in concert for the first time and they (because it was a small venue) let me sing a verse of a very fast song. I met Mickey afterward, and met Davy and Peter later.

Tag! Cass, Amber, Nicole, TJ, and Sabrina

Quoted in the Baltimore Sun!

2006-05-02T16:18:00.000-07:00

Go Cougars! Read my cool quote here.

Funny thing is I played Bunco with the lady who actually spotted the first cougar not far from her backyard.

TON of new pictures.

2006-05-01T18:41:00.000-07:00

Click the "Latest Photos" link on the side of the page
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Colleen "Cougar Superstar"

2006-04-27T13:38:00.000-07:00

So my normal day is so boring I just had to call a news station. Once the kids were fed and napped I called the reporter back on her cell phone and she wanted me to come to the base gate for an interview. I asked Jason if this would reflect badly on him and he said no. He asked me why I wanted to talk to the news and I said because it was something fun and different.

When I got to the Visitor Center parking lot like 5 news stations bombarded me. I felt bad for the Channel 7 lady I had been talking with, but I know how the business works, I was an intern with both Channel 13 and Channel 45 in Baltimore back in college.

I was not about to tell them the part about how we didn't listen to stay inside the first time we were told. Guess blogging it doesn't help either Haha. A Lt. Colonel was there the whole time monitoring my interview. I hope I didn't sound like an idiot. Probably did. Even the Baltimore Sun was there. Look for me in Google tomorrow!

Ok so one day with no Internet shopping, and the Commissary was actually interesting.

Oh, and the "large cats" were only seen in two places...residential housing AND near the commissary. We were just as safe in either place. Each place had a high cougar mauling potential!

Cougar at Andrews AFB

2006-04-27T11:13:00.000-07:00

Get your news right here boys and girls, that's right there is a cougar on Andrews AFB; possibly even two according to Public Affairs. Just as the whole family was leaving for the Commissary around 11:30 this morning a Security Forces car drove by blasting a message at us telling us to stay in our car our go back inside until we are told to do otherwise. Jason, sensing it was just another exercise people on base had to go through said "well we'll stay inside once we are at the Commissary".

Security was at the Commissary by the time we got there, frantically telling people to get inside. Right after we got in, we went in lockdown mode. The Commissary is one of my least favorite places to be, let alone be locked in there! At least the place was empty and no one was getting in...we had the place to ourselves. Then over the loudspeaker we hear "Attention Commissary patrons, for your own safety your are being kept in the Commissary. We have been informed that a large cougar is on the premises." At least we were at the beginning of the trip. I felt bad for the people who had paid for their groceries and were trying to leave.

I was passing the watermelons and joked to Jason that it was probably just John Cougar Mellencamp running around loose on base. Irony struck hard as John Cougar Mellencamp came on the loudspeaker muzak station.

At least I made the best of it, telling people in the aisles to "move it, cougar coming through!" I made several other cougar comments that kept the elderly population and stockers somewhat amused.

Still even more amused, I decided to call people. My mother would see the humor in it since she LOVES the Commissary and knows I loathe it. Then for kicks I called the local news, by then we had been in lockdown for about 45 minutes. They were on it and a reporter called me back to get more scoop. Leslie Cook from Channel 7 news told me that according to the Public Affairs Office there were 2 large cats of some kind, which was interesting because they had just started to let people out of the building again. She wanted to interview me, but was not being let onto the base. We had two kids that needed lunch and naps so there was no way I was going to go off base.

Wow, so much more exciting then buying endless whale supplies online today!

Will the cougars decide to eat the President as he boards Air Force One? PLEASE!!!

STAY TUNED.........

Birthdays

2006-04-26T10:43:00.000-07:00

Have you ever tried to plan a whale themed birthday party for a 3 year old? It is not easy my friends. Thank goodness for the Internet! I found some under the sea themed paper products that had a killer whale on them, and remembered that Carvel had a Fudgie the Whale Cake back from when I was little. Guess what? They still do. Rock on!

Whale invitations, ordering my own from Snapfish. I love Snapfish.

Whale themed party favors? Ordered from several places on the Internet.

Awesome WHALE gifts for the birthday boy from Otter Bay Gifts.

But I continue to go overboard with the coup de grâce being the newley re-designed whale themed bedroom. Thanks to Ikea, Decalzone, Art.com. Not overboard yet? How about a personalized handmade comforter featuring whales, dolphins and manatees; panels by Ebay, made by this lady. I throw myself into my children's hobbies. I have no life...but at least I have whales.

Back in the Fray

2006-04-19T17:41:00.000-07:00

WHALE!!!

Yes we saw whales. We even ate dinner right next to whales. How was it? It was cool to see Connor's reaction to the whales, but I kinda felt wierd about cheering for these animals. Granted, they have the best life for caged animals, but I did not hear ANY fricking conservation message while I was there. Maybe I just missed it everytime I turned the corner. Whatever. Connor was thrilled.

As for our swim with manatees, here is a lesson boys and girls: manatees hang out at Crystal River from November through March, then they swim out to sea in April, then a few decide to come back in May. What time did we go there? April. Every other time I have done this there were so many manatees you were tripping over them. We saw a few from the boat but everytime the captain stopped and got in with them, they swam off. *sob...sniff...sob* Connor DID get to snorkel and see fishies though and he KICKED ASS at snorkeling. See!

This kid had been practicing in the bath tub with the mask and snorkel for weeks and it paid off. Connor had a dive suit on, and a padded Finding Nemo suit on over it. He floated perfectly and swam around face down breathing through the snorkel like a pro. He kept yelling "Connor do it!" and getting away from us to do it on his own! He is TWO people! Wow. He rocks.

Hopefully we were saving all of our marine mammal luck for whale watching this summer in Gloucester. *wink*

Connor also went on a GIANT slide. Scared the piss out of him, but he did it twice.

Giant Slide

Connor pissing himself

I had to deal with the harsh realities of having an 8 month-old baby on vacation: she is STILL 8 months when you go on vacation. Nap times were messed up, she got a cold...and a fever, breastfeeding on a boat with a wet suit on sucks, Alanna can't go on a speedboat and last but not least...Jason can't breastfeed. I spent a bunch of time in the room with a book while Alanna napped. Oh well, It can only get better from here since she will only get older. Yea! She posed nicely for pictures though. Hollywood watch out!

So all in all it was good. Florida is where it's at. We miss it already.

Heading for the Promised Land

2006-04-06T09:17:00.000-07:00

We did it! We made it through an awful surgery, a PAINFUL recovery and days of bombardment by relatives! Now we get to go to Florida. WOOOHOO! Frankly I think we deserve it.

Alanna's baptisim went really well. One of those odd times when so many things that could have gone wrong...didn't. Everyone got onto the base ok, lunch at the Officer's Club was fun, the baptism itself was easy (Alanna cooed and laughed through it) and everyone headed back to our house for light snacks and alcohol. Everyone got along (that day at least). Every one of Connor and Alanna's cousins were there and were playing together, amazing.

The rest of the family visits went well for the most part too. Getting 15 people including babies and strollers through the DC Metro system for Smithsonian trips and restaurant outings was a chore though. Yea it's over!

We fly out to the Tampa area tomorrow morning. Wish us luck! Will have a full report on manatees and Killer Whales when I return.

Disturbing

2006-03-31T20:08:00.000-08:00

Have you ever heard of Pensecola Christian College? So fucked up. You can get kickied out of school for staring into someone's eyes for too long and making "eye babies". This is seriously what is so messed up about this country. MIND CONTROL people. Jesus would SO hate that this is being done in his name. You have to read about this school to believe it. This is the American Taliban!

Click Here

Eye of the Storm

2006-03-30T20:47:00.000-08:00

Whew! We just went through some of the toughest days since the maelstrom surrounding Connor's birth (awful, awful, awful). Connor got a urinary tract infection on top of the ouchy surgeries. Tylenol with codeine and Motrin on top of it could not even touch the pain. Connor was literally screaming, shaking, crying and straining at an odd angle all at once. It was like he was going through labor pains. He would go into waves of pain fits. Jason held him on one side and I held him on the other. We tried not to cry to keep Connor more calm. We just cried on each other later.

The DOUCHEBAG Pediatric Resident on call this weekend at Children's Hospital in DC gave us bad advice, and made the situation worse until Jason got tough with the bastard and forced him to call our surgeon. The guy was like "Are you questioning my decision?" and Jason was like "Yea, I am. I am a Family Practice Resident with 2 kids of my own." The DOUCHEBAG backed down after that. Our surgeon was upset to learn about how much pain Connor was in and directed us about what to do. See even when you have a doctor at home, good medical care is not assured. Some doctors suck.

Two shots and lots of antibiotics later (4 days actually) Connor is on the mend. Seeing your child in that much pain just drains you. I thought we had been through the worst of it with Connor's billion other surgeries...this one was over the top.

Ok so it hurts for him to pee still with the swelling, and now he has diarrhea from the antibiotics. Actually this is the one time diarrhea is a good thing because it is that much less fluid coming out of the ouchy part! The bad part of this is that the doctor wanted us to watch Connor's pee stream before our follow up visit and told us to leave his diaper off. Guess when we first found out about the diarrhea? Hershey squirts all over the carpet. Can you tell we are having fun here?

*SIGH*

We went to The Olive Garden tonight to celebrate Connor feeling better and to have one last hurrah before life gets crazy in a different way. Alanna ate an adult size portion of pasta on her own, a breadstick, some cake, some bites of carrot and olive...this after some Cheerios, black beans and avocado at home. She is a bottomless pit! We had the crew at the restaurant sing Happy Birthday to Connor just because, he deserves it for getting through this. On Saturday the multitude of Jason's relatives descend on us for a few days for Alanna's baptism. We have a reservation at the Officer's Club for 28! Is my house ready? FUCK NO! Why? See above.

Mass cleaning, oh yea. Bring it. Mass food preparation, uh huh. Drugs to help me deal? I wish. Chocolate and wine will have to do. No drugs are strong enough to help me through this mass influx of in-laws. Think happy thoughts for me ok?

Surgery

2006-03-24T13:40:00.000-08:00

Oh man, nothing is more fun than surgery day around my house. We havn't had one in a year and a half, but before that they were like every other week it seems. Connor had to get a hernia repair, something unresolved since birth, and to get circumcised. It turns out that it was actually an undescended testicle, and that his anatomy was the oddest thing this pediatric urologist had ever seen. Awesome! Leave it to my son to stand out in the crowd. His urethra was ATTATCHED TO HIS FORESKIN, and was all funked up and inverted.

It's funny how things work out. We didn't want him circumcised, but because Jason wanted one less thing for other kids to have as pick on material we decided to go ahead this time. If a pediatrician had opened up that can of worms there could have been all sorts of complications! Even a doctor who does this for a living and was head of urology at Bethesda for 7 years is in awe of his anatomy. It is all ok now, looks fine, but is WAY OUCHY.

How is Connor you ask? Lots of ice cram and movies make him happy. He thought his weenier looked really cool because it is so swollen. He said he liked his "Big Weenie"!

Men.

Don't Let Me Watch Your Children

2006-03-23T16:25:00.000-08:00

Connor's friends came over today, everything was fine until Alanna woke up and I had to go upstairs to get her. This is what I found: three toddlers covered in diaper rash cream.

I told them to give me thier best naughty look. Look at the defiance in Connor's face evn when busted...that's my boy.

The twins' mom thought it was funny (as did I) and wants a copy. Some days...

Happy Spring

2006-03-20T10:19:00.000-08:00

Something to brighten your day!