Been a while since I blogged. Still recovering from FAMILY.

Family is like herpes, it is annoying, itchy, bothersome, flares up out of no where and no medicine can rid you of it. You love 'em, you hate 'em, you have to be nice to them so you can borrow money from 'em.

Anywho, I am in mourning for the impending loss of my beloved Florida. June is approaching so quickly. I thought the Air Force was not going to require us to be near the base till mid June, now it is "no later than June 6th". Poop.

Our visit to MD was grey, brown, overcast, cold. Even the nicest luxury apartments looked bleak in comparison to our colorful, sunny, expertly manicured and landscaped complex. We are trying to concentrate on the list we made of all of the things we have to look forward to. So here it is:

  • TJ, Nicole and co.
  • 99.1 radio station
  • MD Renaissance Festival
  • 3 bedroom apartment
  • Seeing our Alaskan Malamute enjoy snow
  • Snow skiing
  • Taking nieces and nephews to 6 Flags
  • Novelty of military life (that might last for 5 minutes)
  • Swing dances at Naylor Vineyard
  • Babysitting services

That's about it. Family could be on the looking forward to, or dreading list depending on which day you ask me.

List other reasons for me to look forward to MD/DC life. I'm waiting.
I did it. I pumped my last bottle of boobie juice. Connor has been getting breast milk for 8 months. I have pumped morning noon and night for 8 months: 45 minutes of Connor's morning, 45 minutes of his noon and 45 minutes of his afternoon were spent in his Exersaucer or swing while I pumped. How many hours is that over 8 months? I made it to my goal; I got him through his lip surgery with fresh mommy milk. I pumped longer than many people breast feed normally. But I feel a loss somehow. Knowing that he was getting nature's perfect food that I made with my own body made me feel so good. It made me feel like I was a good mommy. Now that is gone.

I tried one last time on Sunday to breastfeed him like a normal baby. He screamed of course and refused any part of it, but I hand squirted some in his mouth while he screamed, so now I can truthfully say that I fed him once from my own breast. Just those few drops is all I got, but at least it's something.

Mothers of children without all of Connor's fun little characteristics don't realize all the things they take for granted. Ten fingers and toes, an upper lip, a complete palate. I take each new discovery as a gift: kissing him on both lips is a treat, watching him eat from a spoon and seeing him keep the food in his mouth now that there are not two parts of his lip missing, standing over him as he sleeps with his mouth completely closed. These are my little miracles.

As I morn the loss of this connection Connor and I have, I realize I need to buck up. It could be worse. Thank goodness I have this experience to go through, thank goodness he is here today and is a happy, healthy little boy. Binding my breasts flat with ace bandages for a few days while I dry up isn't too much to ask for that.