Stress, poopy and doctors

I hate my apartment complex. Did you know that? I don't think it is safe for my baby nor do I want to conceive a baby here. For one thing the neighbors will hear us because the walls are paper thin! I have to ask one neighbor to turn his KICKIN STEREO down because the base is shaking my intestines and keeping Connor awake. I have to call the police when a gang of hoodlums are hanging out below Connor's window having a party in the parking lot. The layout is funky and not conducive to sane, rational thoughts. AHHHHH!

I am living in a half-unpacked, half-decorated mess and the more I try to do the less I make a dent in it. I actually looked into a maid service today just to have someone come over and help me get this place organized. It feels awful to admit defeat to an apartment.

To add to my stress, Connor has poopy blowouts that explode like bombs. Every morning for the last week and a half he has had so much poop in his diaper when he wakes up that I have to put him right into the tub and hose him down. Tonight he had a blow out and actually left a trail in the living room before I figured out that "No, my son does not know how to bake brownies, nor is he capable of mixing batter, therefore that must be POOPY trailing behind him and smeared all over his legs". I looked at him, cocked my head and made that mommy "ARGGHH" sound much like a pirate before I scooped him up and de-pooped him.

I wake up now knowing that Connor's dinner will be waiting for me, perhaps sitting all over his Winnie The Pooh comforter, perhaps still in the diaper. I lay in bed thinking "Do I feel lucky?", well do I?

I knew that one of the worst part about leaving my beautiful South Florida was getting all new doctors. Fortunately, I happened to bring one with me. Unfortunately, he is working 72 hour weeks and barely has time to tell me he does not have time to say "hi" to me before stumbling to bed.

Connor needs a new tube in his left ear, and to have his tear duct surgery done over again. Getting the appointments and surgery stuff set up might take 2 months. CRAP! My child is at a critical time for developing speech and it is ok that one of his ears is not working properly?? NO. Jason actually suggested I fly back to FL to get it done if they delay me too much here. Problem is I might stay there, taking refuge in my friend Carmen's house for months at a time till she kicks me out.

So back hating my apartment. Military housing if it came through, would allow us only a 2-bedroom place unless I got pregnant right now and forgot about the 50 lbs I need to lose first. Hmm...morbidly obese for the sake of getting out of this apartment? Not worth the risk to my health or the baby's health. But tempting.

Buying a house seems like the most impossible thing in the world. We are so in debt, we now have two nickels to rub together (ONLY 2 MIND YOU, NOT 3!) and we want to mess that up and possibly get into worse debt? AHH!

I know a lot of these problems are not life threatening, and will eventually resolve themselves, but I am for the first time put in a place where my husband is not really here to help with any of them. We are a team and now I have to be a dictator. If I don't make plans to solve these problems, no one will at this point. It is a lot on my shoulders and I just need...chocolate?
Take The Quiz: What Is Your Kink?

The world is your stage, and everyone in it is your audience, whether they like it or not. Your favorite place to have sex is the pitcher's mound of a ball stadium, under the arena lights. You are extremely loud when having sex. You don't mind people watching, taking pictures or videotaping you no matter what you're doing. Your motto is It's all about ME!

Yet another fun quiz. Let me know what your kink is you kinky-ass mo fo!

Why I am a vegetarian.

If you have ever asked yourself "Self, why is Colleen Koskinen a vegetarian?" then here is the answer, all wrapped up in a fun flash cartoon.



Life back in MD has not been dull. Seems people here remembered me fondly while I was in FL and still like me. Hmm.  My plan to subvert all that was good and pure with my new found Harry Potter cult and overthow the world may have to wait. Well at least until after my new ren fest costume arrives and I get to wear it.
This week I lunched and shopped with an old friend and laughed myself silly, trekked 4 miles round trip on foot with my mother-in-law, sister-in-law, nephew, husband and son to Calvert Cliffs and back, went to an SCA event with our very good friends and their cool kids, and today my sister and her gang will descend upon us and smite us. 
I have to admit my calendar was not quite as full in FL. It was more like: wake up "hey it is beautiful outside", do daily activities thinking "hey it is beautiful outside", watch some tv thinking "hey it is still beautiful outside", walk the dogs enjoying how beautiful it was outside while I sweated my ass off, then went to bed thinking "at least it is beautiful outside". Ok, so it is beautiful there and the possibility of endless adventures to the Keys and beyond were always there. But the people I like hanging out with are not all there. Now How can I get all of these MD folks down to FL to create the perfect ColleenLand?
Hmmm...first collect underpants, then something else, then profit.
Oh no, my personality revealed.

Wackiness: 40/100
Rationality: 28/100
Constructiveness: 42/100
Leadership: 66/100

You are an SEDL--Sober Emotional Destructive Leader. This makes you a dictator. You prefer to control situations, and lack of control makes you physically sick. You feel have responsibility for everyone's welfare, and that you will be blamed when things go wrong. Things do go wrong, and you take it harder than you should.

You rely on the validation and support of others, but you have a secret distrust for people and distaste for their habits and weaknesses that make you keep your distance from them. This makes you very difficult to be with romantically. Still, a level-headed peacemaker can keep you balanced.

Despite your fierce temper and general hot-bloodedness, you have a soft spot for animals and a surprising passion for the arts. Sometimes you would almost rather live by your wits in the wilderness somewhere, if you could bring your books and your sketchbook.

You also have a strange, undeniable sexiness to you. You may go insane.

Take the test here

This Just In...

Here is my husband. Don't mess with us!

Wackiness: 46/100
Rationality: 62/100
Constructiveness: 30/100
Leadership: 56/100

You are an SRDL--Sober Rational Destructive Leader. This makes you a mob boss. You are the ultimate alpha person and even your friends give you your space. You can't stand whiners, weaklings, schlemiels or schlemozzles. You don't make many jokes, but when you do, others laugh out loud. They must.

People often turn to you for advice, and wisely. You are calm in a crisis, cautious in a tempest, and attuned to even the finest details. Yours is the profile of a smart head for business and a dangerous enemy.

You have a natural knack for fashion and occupy a suit like a matinee idol. Your charisma is striking and without artifice. You are generous, thoughtful, and appreciate life's finer things.

Please don't kick my ass.