Evacuating to outrun the Hurricanes. O V E R W H E L M E D! Connor has had infections since the day after Jason left for Iraq. The normal course of ear drop antibiotics we use did not work, still did not work when I used them for 2 weeks instead of one. Oh that goes for the medication for his eye infection too!

Severe Cleft kid = congenital ear and eye infections = mom who drinks wine.

2 weeks of augmentin = nada, now he has a DOUBLE ear infection!

Now he is on omnicef...and he has a UTI...but Jason says omnicef will knock out a UTI too, so that is good.

Can I get a little positive mojo from y'all? We need thoughts, prayers, whatever. Poor Connor. Poor Mama. We are managing. We are making new friends because we have to.

So I am spacing my time out like this:

Friday: Project night with the SCA where I am making garb (costumes) for the kids with my own sewing machine that I just learned how to use. Really interesting people, the kids LOVE it.

Saturday: nothing!

Sunday: church, Michael's Craft Store, and brunch at The End of the Line Cafe vegan restaurant where we get an amazing amount of food for $8.00 a person, but Connor just eats a whole order of hummus and pita bread.

7:00 AM to4 PM: amazing amount of work taking care of 8 pets, 2 kids, homeschooling, frantic cleaning, doing the bills for the first time in my life, CRAFTS!

4-5PM: Jason calls

5 PM - 11 PM: amazing amount of work taking care of 8 pets, 2 kids, homeschooling, frantic cleaning, doing the bills for the first time in my life, CRAFTS!

I get to talk to Jason everyday, which is cool. I feel bad for him because a lot of the time I sound a bit frantic/ Why? See above. He told me today that he works out 2 hours a day! I repeat 2 HOURS a day. Wow, I wish I had that kind of time to myself, then again, I don't want to have to go to Iraq to do it, nor do I want to see 18-22 year olds blown apart by IEDs. That part sucks.

He can't tell me about that part of his day, gag order for obvious reasons, but he can send me a link in my e-mail from Fox News detailing the latest round of people blown up near his base, yep, that is what he tended to that day. Google Kirkuk and look at the news tab.

He says the base is cool because they have lots of food, he specifically likes the cheesecake and chi lattes. Hmm, not the MREs I was imagining thank goodness! He has a lot of luxuries guys in the field do not have, but I think he is going to be a bit traumatized by what he has seen in terms of blown apart bodies.

We went to a birthday party for a girl in our homeschool group today and that was cool, the kids ran around in an arcade and had a blast. Hopefully these people will "stick" as a group for us to hang around with, the last group, the Mom's Club was not a fit at all. Epic fail. The women hated me, Alanna bit other kids twice and the moms were horrified, Connor was loud and louder. Of course no other children in the f*ing club were ever rowdy, just mine. Connor at pre-school: fail, belonging to the Moms Club: fail, the fact that we are not Baptist or any other main-stream denomination: fail. Next.

My mom is coming next week, so I am looking forward to having another living soul to talk to...even if it IS one who doesn't really like kids. Maybe the one-on-one time will make her bond with the kids, we'll see.

Our next big thing we are looking forward to is Alanna's birthday. We are driving to Atlanta to go to the big aquarium there and then go to the American Girl Doll Boutique & Bistro. Alanna will be getting her first doll (from my mom), her first outfit for her doll (from Jason's mom) , her first outfit for her to match her doll (from me) and her first American Girl store shopping experience. They will have a cake for us and everything. My sister-in-law may or may not show up, at this point, all I care about is that go SOMEWHERE and do SOMETHING fun.

After that we get to look forward to Jason's little sister's wedding in September. I get to drive for a few days by myself with the kids, then be surrounded by Jason's family, do the obligatory stop at my parent's house, then drive a few days back. I feel overwhelmed just typing that. Every cotton picking member of his family and no Jason in sight to protect me from my own damn big mouth. Frack. Pray that I don't get myself into trouble with them...again. Please?

One last thing before I end this rant: I have lost 7 lbs. and counting since Jason left! Go me! I am exercising 3 days a week and trying to fit it in more times, I'd like to do it at least 5 days a week, but we'll see. Eating is a breeze, no splurging when Mr. Super Metabolism isn't around! Ok, so I have learned that I use having him around as a reason to gorge myself on the weekends...but who doesn't use "family together time" as a reason to eat rich, fatty, sugary, salty, carb-laden yummy foods?

/end rant Way to go Obama! I must admit that I came into this race a Hillary supporter and before that I said that if McCain ever ran I'd vote for him, and yes I even Googled Ron Paul.

Hillary is my girl, so don't you even! Step off eh? Wanna fight? But I must admit that Obama won me over, he just may be the only person who can unite our country AND get us back in the good graces with the rest of the countries who used to like us...maybe help blacks and whites bridge some gaps...get us the FUCK out of Iraq safely...get us to sign environmental treaties...end hunger...

Let's just say I have high hopes. If Hill was the VP I'd be even more excited, let's just be happy that one of the most eloquent men I have ever heard will now be on the presidential ticket. Hell yea. Did you notice that the decline in my mood and patriotism seem to coincide with the waning of my caffeine buzz. Solution: more caffeine? I think that this deployment is leaving me very moody, but it is on a schedule. Here it is as best as I can figure:

7:00 AM - optimistic
9:00 AM - liberated
11:00 AM - empowered
1:00 PM - neutral
3:00 PM - tired
5:00 PM - frazzled
7:00 PM - disgruntled
9:00 PM - frothing at the mouth raging bitch
11:00 PM - wine buzzed

Plan your times to communicate with me accordingly. By the evening I am combative enough to take out the Taliban single-handed. I am frantic, pissed, feel trapped and abandoned at the same time. Don't call me in the evening to discuss how patriotic I feel about the situation if you don't want to be yelled at. If you want me to recite the oath of how proud I am and how we are keeping our chins up talk to me in the morning, talk to me at other times and I may be forced to tell you the truth. Talk to me after the wine and I'll tell you how I feel about the entire world - you don't want this.

I think it is kind of like pendulum, in the morning I realize that I do not have it bad compared to so many people on this planet and in my own neighborhood for that matter, the day is ours to do with as we like and it feels good not to revolve around some one else's schedule. By the time evening rolls around the magnitude of how much I have to do on my own becomes overwhelming and I freak out.

I live in BFE and that makes it difficult for people to visit, even by plane their is no direct flight, that means that it is hard to get to, and with gas prices the way they are it is expensive to drive here, I get that. I also get that the majority of the people here suck ass. I get that I have to put myself out more and find my own group, which will probably be from the SCA so that I can geek out as much as I want without upsetting the bible beaters here.

I think this would be totally different if this was a war I supported and a cause I believed in, unfortunately I see this as a pit of despair being made worse everyday, and unless my husband goes AWOL and goes to jail or runs to Canada we are screwed and have to do what Bush tells us to do. This is not a job he can just quit. I never want him to be deployed again, I don't want him to sign up again, I hate this.

Oops, frothing at the mouth raging bitch has come early today. Damn. Wine buzz must earlier to compensate soon or all hell will break loose.

Bye. So my biggest adjustment so far has been changing my role. I used to just be disciplinarian, teacher, beast wrangler, chef, maid, sex goddess (LOL!)...now I have to be fun too. Man I think I used to be fun, I mean my niece and nephew thought I was fun when I was just "Crazy Aunt Colleen". It was great to play with kids, spoil them, then put them back where you found them, but in reality I have relied on Jason to be the fun one because dammit I HAVE TOO MUCH TO DO TO BE FUN!!! Being in charge is stressful and playing when you are all stressed out does not work. Dee, Nicole what is the first thing I do when I get to hang out with you once a year or once every few months? Tequila Sunrises! I have to, man it is hard to carry so many responsibilities with you at all times.

Jason is gone, I have to be fun. I have to make sure that I stop getting things done and make time to play. We went to the beach tonight for a picnic, but we almost didn't make it because Connor was being a five year-old boy and my one remaining semi not frazzled nerve was about to go. He sincerely begged me and we ended up having a good time. I think I am learning a lot on this deployment, it is a huge time for serious reflection.

I can do this because: I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggonnit I bought a new bottle of wine.